Procrastorbater

A person who frequently procrastinates and instead masturbates.

“Mark was very busy with his workload, instead of doing the work he masturbated all day. He is such a procrastorbater.”

by Palavinator February 3, 2026

Procrastinating

Put off doing something.

Can you stop procrastinating so you can focus? You’re wasting my time!

by Kason James February 21, 2026

Process Fossil

A workplace procedure that continues to exist long after technology made it unnecessary, usually defended with the phrase “because that’s how we’ve always done it.”

Often involves unnecessary steps like three paper copies, a signature, and filing paperwork that could have been a spreadsheet, email, or photo.

A process fossil survives purely because nobody in management has updated the system since the 1990s.

“Our office requires three paper copies, a signature, and a receipt attached just to verify a $60 purchase.”

“That’s not accounting… that’s a process fossil.”

by millenialstruggles1102 March 6, 2026

Procrastchorenating

The act of avoiding important tasks or responsibilities by doing chores that suddenly seem super urgent. A masterful blend of procrastination and housework, where washing dishes, vacuuming, or folding laundry becomes an Olympic sport, all in the name of avoiding the real work.

I had a 10-page paper due tomorrow, but somehow I ended up procrastchorenating by deep-cleaning my entire fridge and alphabetizing my spice rack. Guess who still hasn’t written a single word.

by jachilli October 15, 2024

Procrasinatingly

Procrastination but ending in "ly." This means doing everything last minute is better than if you would do it on time.

She is Procrasinatingly perfect.

by ahythizzhle November 22, 2024

Procurement dickhead

A person working in a procurement role with minimal relevant skills and qualifications, who add bureaucracy and pointless work to give the impression that their work adds value, and make life miserable and frustrating everyone in the organisation who needs to buy anything and any unlucky professional advisors who need to deal with them.

Gee, Michelle and Duane keep stuffing this up, they are such procurement dickheads.

by BigPastaBoiz November 23, 2024

Procrastibinge

1. To avoid responsibilities by watching an entire season of a show in one sitting.

2. To procrastinate bingeing.

I was going to clean my room, but I procrastibinged Stranger Things instead.

I was gonna start watching the new season of The Simpsons, but I started procrastibinging.

by TheUltimateUrbaner December 4, 2024