Big Telly Wank

The act of cranking one out involving the use of the largest screen in the house (usually the TV in the living room) to watch pornography.

I'm sick of squinting at my phone screen in the toilet while the missus is home. I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to crack open a can, get pornhub up on the 60" in the living room and have a nice big telly wank.

by sproates April 29, 2021

wank wipe

A name of a tissue you use to wipe away your sperm

After I finished masturbating I used a wank wipe to clean up me genital area

by Upstairsdragon December 19, 2013

Gigolo wank

The act of masturbating during working hours or in the workplace, and hence being paid while completing the duty.

The hot intern bent over to pick up some papers earlier. It gave me a massive erection so I had to sneak off for a gigolo wank to correct myself.

by Bruce Foreskin August 09, 2013

Wormhole Wank

When you stick a worm in your urethra and you have to ejaculate it out before it crawls in.

Mom: Jordan, do the damn dishes!
Jordan: Hang on, i'm doing a Wormhole wank!

Mom: You kept the bait from fishing earlier?

by jillstobbs_ September 09, 2017

Flag Wanking

Someone whomst is a Member of the British Conservative party who wants everyone to pledge allegiance to the flag of the UK.

Boris Johnson enjoyed **Flag Wanking** in parilament today.

by Oure April 21, 2021

Munchkin wank

A phrased used to insult a young boy that hasn't reached puberty yet.

Boy - i can do whatever i like you can't stop me!
Older person- You wanna bet you munchkin wank.

by jackametii1234 February 22, 2010

Wank of Wisdom

When a person has thoughts of cheating on their significant other and they masturbate to relieve their lust and return to clear, rational thought; usually realizing that cheating is not worth it.

The only thing you need to stop you from cheating is the Wank of Wisdom, because cheating is not okay.

by Niphty Biscuit February 11, 2022