Post wank vision

Post-wank vision helps improve your judgement on relationship decisions when your horny. When you take off the ‘wank goggles’ your mind will be clearer, allowing you to assess relationship decisions based on there true attributes (and not just her fine ass).

Eoghan: *thinks to himself* awwwwww fuck that took way too long. Thank god for twins.

Eoghan text: mate, my post wank vision suggests I should keen this chick around.

Andrew M: nice move mate, all big calls should be made with a clear mind.

What time will I meet you for the McGregor fight?

by Some mate1 January 26, 2020

Double stocking wank

The act of two women giving a man a footjob together whilst wearing pantyhose or stockings, usually ending in the guy cumming in their feet and legs

Last night, I ran into Cara and Nadia. They invited me back to their place for a fantastic double stocking wank

by PhilliBlunt June 12, 2023

sexy wank

When you make your bird bend over and spread her arse cheeks so you can have a wank while looking at her holes

Her ‘I can’t be arsed with sex or a bj’

Him ‘bend over and I’ll have a sexy wank then you lazy cow’

by Spunky McSemen March 18, 2019

Wank

Get ur hand a place it on ur dick and start rubbing up and down, faster and faster until u cum.

Bill had blue balls so he at to go for a wank.

by Wankmaster369 June 15, 2019

Wank jerked

Wank jerked is when one of your parents catches you masturbating.

Jill: You seem rather depressed, what happened to you today?

Johnny: Well I found some good porn and I was going to have a good time, but my mom wank jerked me.

by Box Worm November 24, 2019

windmill wank

On insertion of the penis into an armpit, (usually not one's own), the recipient rotates the arm windmill-style until the desired consummation is attained.

We've tried everything except a windmill wank; there simply isn't room in her tiny bedsit.

by philologue August 19, 2011

nigel suicide wank

when your having a wank just before blow load, shout of Mum( diseased and rottin), bring my dinner up please, then try and finish the job before she gets into your room

nigel suicide wank stinks

by mrs tosser October 4, 2025