Toilet Hand

"Toilet Hand" It is the act of using your hands to wipe your buttocks clean after defecating.

"Toilet Hand" is a play on the words "Toilet Paper" as the hand is a replacement to the paper.

Me: Yo Ezra, your toilet paper is so crummy. I'm deadass going to just Toilet Hand.

Ezra: That's fucking foul and my toilet paper is the nice shit so I know your lying.

by WordMasterDmoney February 8, 2026

Toilet Chandelier

toilet chandelier
The dangling situation that occurs when a man sits on the toilet and gravity takes over in an uncomfortably theatrical way.

“I had to adjust my seating position—my toilet chandelier was getting a little too close for comfort.”

by Atomic Luchador February 8, 2026

Toilet Paper Gutfish

The act of accidentally fingering your asshole due to thin ply toilet paper

Jeff looks like the kinda guy to Toilet Paper Gutfish himself for fun.

by Mungo fungo February 20, 2026

Toilet Crisis

A sudden, high-stakes biological emergency in which a person urgently needs to release his/her/their bowels in an explosive, painful, or pro-longed manner. Often Categorized in stages 1-4 of severity.

Hey man, I’ll be downstairs ready to go soon; I’m just having a major stage 4 toilet crisis.

by Zev Blum February 27, 2026

Toilet

a thing you sit on to do your stuff aka poop and pee

Go to the toilet.

by Cool_froggiecupcakes March 2, 2026

Toilet Bonk

A term created by my 4 year old daughter to refer to someone being "poopy" or "mean".

"Daddy, mommy is being a toilet bonk!"

by ToiletBonk420 March 12, 2026

Toilet bowl spackle

Toilet bowl spackle is when you take an airy shit and the tiny bits of poop spray all over the bowl and stick like glue. Even after days of directly urinating on the spackled bits and flushing doesn't seem to remove the small chunks of poop. You have to eventually get a toilet brush to try and pry those pieces of toilet bowl spackle off so that the toilet looks and smells clean.

My ass exploded like a balloon filled with glitter and after I wiped and flushed there were small pieces of toilet bowl spackle stubbornly stuck to the bowl.

by Answers for Everything podcast March 21, 2026