Pokey bum wank

Pokey bum wanking

I had the best pokey bum wank ever but my fingers really smell after

by Pauls Logic November 2, 2020

Razor wank

When you jack off with razorblades

I just went to the er because I had a nice razor wank

by Gjfrhgfnvghhgggggjj November 22, 2018

Wank Stain Of A Bastard

When calling someone either a wank stain or the offspring of a bastard child isn't formal enough.

Bob: "Fuck you Steve!"
Steve: "How about you intercourse yourself you wank stain of a bastard."
Bob:

by Cephalon Alcatraz June 15, 2020

Crazy Wank

The act of viciously masturbating fully naked for over 5 minutes. Throughout the process the subject uses his hand to stroke his penis to near ejaculation, then the subject relaxes for a bit. Then the subject continued to slightly stroke his penis and then he uses a sex toy (store bought or hand made) and places it in a position where it won't move around a lot and the subject viciously fucks the sex toy until near ejaculation. Then the subject is free to experiment with unusual kinds of sexual acts (ex: finger in the bum, other masturbation teqniques, other kinky fetishs). Then once the subject is satisfied withhimself and ready to ejaculate, he must use up the rest of the lube on his penis and hands, and then it is time for the last hurrah. The subject firmly grasps his penis and then he strokes it much faster and harder and it should give the individual a sensation of both mild pain and crazy erotic pleasure. The individual moans to make the procedure much more impactful and when he reaches the climax, the procedure is complete.

Carl: bro I just haven't jacked off at all recently. I'm just not into it anymore

Eddie: last night I had a CRAZY WANK and I will tell you, I changed my life!

by Derkadurr August 5, 2017

Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.

Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.

by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024

volcan mind wank

when one masturbates without actually touching him/her self

look up andy hoad on facebook he likes to volcan mind wank

by go go gadget dick April 12, 2011

Post wank vision

Post-wank vision helps improve your judgement on relationship decisions when your horny. When you take off the ‘wank goggles’ your mind will be clearer, allowing you to assess relationship decisions based on there true attributes (and not just her fine ass).

Eoghan: *thinks to himself* awwwwww fuck that took way too long. Thank god for twins.

Eoghan text: mate, my post wank vision suggests I should keen this chick around.

Andrew M: nice move mate, all big calls should be made with a clear mind.

What time will I meet you for the McGregor fight?

by Some mate1 January 26, 2020