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Coffee Shits

After drinking coffee and eating tons of carbs then running you take a fiery, steamy, burning hot shit with a fudge-like consistency. It usually happens within an hour of coffee, with a smell similar to dead people, shit, and coffee combined. Even worse, it strikes without warning for the next hour leaving your pants in a shit covered hell.
Guy A "I love drinking coffee then eating pasta then running! Don't you?"
Guy B "Dude, your gonna get coffee shits..."
Guy A "Naa, I've got a colon of steel I...I need to change..."
by Dr. mcjesus100 March 28, 2010
mugGet the Coffee Shitsmug.

coffee drunk

the effect u get after u drank too much coffee to wake yourself up(usually when studying to a test or when u feel u're falling asleep at work,common with workohollics)
Symptoms: Fast reactions,Fuzzy vision,shaking hands,talking to yourself,need more coffee,insomnia for one night at least,neasuea,farts in public,smell of urine from the mouth-----actually all those symptomes r the things u try to prevent by getting "coffee drunk"...
"HHemmm---Benny... why the fuck r u humping your monitor?..and what the fuck is that smell...?"

----awkward silence...-----

"I don't know brow-----I must be coffee drunk!---can u bring me some more coffee,please? i think i'm going out of focus here..."
by Benny D1 May 14, 2007
mugGet the coffee drunkmug.

irish coffee

Irish Coffee (For One)

Ingredients
1 Measure (3 cl) of Irish Whiskey
1 teaspoon of raw sugar
1 heaped desertspoon of whipped cream
Hot strong coffee to fill the glass

Pre-warm a stemmed glass. Add the whiskey.
Add the sugar and stir in the coffee.
Float the whipped cream on top.
Drink the coffee through the cream (ie do not stir after adding the cream).
Irish Coffee is not for kids.
by joe July 22, 2004
mugGet the irish coffeemug.

Coffee Dump

The dump you have to take after you consume a cup of coffee in the morning.
10 minutes after my coffee, I gotta take a coffee dump.
by zefah August 28, 2011
mugGet the Coffee Dumpmug.

Hot Coffee

GTA San adreas mod that unlocked hidden sex scenes resulting in an Adults Only rating put on GTA.
Mom: I cant beleive there is nudity in that game! Whats this world come too when my son tries to enjoy killing cops and innocent people and is permanantly scarred by pixialated porn?

Smart person: Shut the fuck up!
by The poopster September 19, 2005
mugGet the Hot Coffeemug.

Coffee Lag

The duration between the first sip of coffee and the body's reaction to caffeine. Generally, the speaker forces actions/words to come out faster than neural transmission without the aid of a catalyst (i.e., caffeine).

Though applicable throughout the workday, coffee lag is especially perilous during the early hours, such as the morning commute, team meetings, and pseudo-serious conversations about life.

Symptoms include rambling speech, awkward gestures, and grand delusions of vacation (often resembles daydreaming). Note: coffee lag in an attractive person can be misdiagnosed as a hot mess.
Bob: "...and-when-I-go-to-desk-I-make-copies-of-things-where-I-think-that-we-need-to-see-more-of-each-other-and-I-know-you-like-me-but-I'm-still-working-and-need-more-time-to-get-these-forms-back-to-you..."

Jane: "So what I think what you're saying is that you need a deadline extension...?"

Bob: (sips coffee)

Jane: "I'll just come back after your coffee lag wears off."
by TexicanAg01 December 8, 2010
mugGet the Coffee Lagmug.

Hartford Coffee

Named after Hartford, the capital of CT.

When you fill a coffee cup up with urine and leave it in the bathroom.

Alternatively, a mixture of blonde roast coffee with urine. Salty coffee with a hint of citrus also works a substitute, and is the variety sold in cafés.
Person 1: Somebody left this cup of coffee in the bathroom.
Person 2: Maybe its a fresh brew of a Hartford Coffee.
by Leuman September 30, 2022
mugGet the Hartford Coffeemug.

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