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The Joys of Midwife Beating

Before you join our little club, you cannot beat midwives with impunity.

If we allow you to join and induct you, you will be granted your Totin Chip, whereby you may beat midwives with impunity. Reducing their faces to rubble and hamburger.

It's a guy thing.
The Joys of Midwife Beating make the world a sunny place!
by Jacques Asse December 28, 2009
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Beaning

When a clitoris, preferably as large as a banana is used in place of a penis or phallic object to pleasure a persons orifice - “to bean” or “beaning” is the act.
“Damn, Hayley gave me a sturdy beaning last night
by Satisfyer-Bro2 February 17, 2021
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beating out a log

We could hear the porn playing on his computer while he was in the bathroom beating out a log
by champ-erbator August 24, 2010
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Beating the Mattress

Masturbation. Basically, if no one else is around, who are you going to beat it to but the mattress?
"John was beating the mattress so hard last night that I heard it through the wall."

"Jessica's out tonight. Guess it's me and the mattress."
by Apple-sucker July 26, 2012
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BeatLingual

When a Song or Track has the ability to spread all over the World If it is Heard & not limited by diversity in communication because it has little to no lyrics but makes up for this with its inspiring Beat!
I was jamming to a song the girl next to me on the bus was playing today, she may not speak English but she is BeatLingual!
by VibeGuy October 27, 2015
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Breathing lemonade

When you laugh so hard that you make that disgusting gurgle-y chuckle-y snort because you can't breathe.
"Oh my god, Jess was totally breathing lemonade after I told her that one joke"
by An actual person July 12, 2017
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Beating the old boy's

The term is a slang used in New Zealand which describes one whom stimulates one's or own genitals with hand. The old boys refers to the hand beating the testicles while stimulating the penis.
Playing Solo: Braxton's brother Ronald told me that he walked into Braxton's room and he was beating the Beating the old boy's

Playing friends: Hey Ragsag you want to go somewhere private to beat the old boy's
by D_strikes September 18, 2017
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