Royal Mail

The purpose of Royal Mail is to piss as many people off as possible. God got a bit bored one day and decided to see if he could make the shittest delivery service in the history of ever and succeeded. I bet I could travel the world faster than Royal Mail can give someone a box. Royal Mail are scamming cunts who will stop at nothing to be total arseholes, and their everyday increasing powers are threatening to the entire of mankind and their cockiness is to be feared.

example to how one might feel after realising their parcel is coming from Royal Mail:
Arse
Bloody
Bugger
Cow
Crap
Damn
Ginger
Git
God
Goddam
Jesus Christ
Minger
Sod-off Arsehole
Balls
Bint
Bitch
Bollocks
Bullshit
Feck
Munter
Pissed
Shit
Son of a bitch
Tits Bastard
Beaver
Beef curtains
Bellend
Bloodclaat
Clunge
Cock
Dick
Dickhead
Fanny
Flaps
Gash
Knob
Minge
Prick
Punani
Pussy
Snatch
Twat

Cunt
Fuck
Motherfucking cuntsuckers are delivering

by Royal Mail fan January 23, 2020

Whale Mail

A route of mail delivery, via whale. Usually a small package attached to a sea animal and originating from the Hong Kong area. Almost always slower than snail mail, taking more than a month for delivery to the US. Insurance plan may include a killer whale for a service fee.

Im still waiting on my iPhone case to be delivered, they used whale mail.

by colivas777 December 5, 2010

G-mail

Google's kick ass e-mail service that offers a gig of space to use.

G-Mail pwns j00r E-mail service.

by Josh July 16, 2004

e-mail

1. A way to send your mail 100 times faster than the postman

2. The United States Postal Service's WORST enemy

1. Jill: Ugh, how will I get these pictures of my wedding to my grandma in California in time? I know, I'll e-mail them to her and get them there in 2 minutes!

2. US postal worker: Hey, Jack, what you got there?

Jack: Oh, nothing. Just an order form I need to mail to
Victoria's secret to get my wife some new panties.

US postal worker: I'll take that.

Jack: On second thought, I think I'll just e-mail it to the
office in New York. It'll probably get there faster.

US postal worker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

by Mz_Brown1997 April 2, 2010

Hate mail

Bills or letters from Energy companies,Credit card companies, The I.R.S....or anyone else that you owe money to.

It's the beginning of the month i'm sure the electric company will be sending out their hate mail soon.

by streetwiseadult March 21, 2010

Punishment Voice mail

The voice mail you leave when the call recipient does not answer their phone.

"leave your message at the tone"
*beep*
"thanks for not answering your phone. B-t-dubs, punishment voice mail."

by FluteletteColbyTrojan September 26, 2012

notice me e-mail

In the age of telecommuting, an e-mail message sent either early in the morning, or late at night, with the subtle intent of revealing the fact that the sender was logged on and working at the time the message was sent, hidden within the context of a more "official" looking message.

(an example "notice me e-mail")

From: Molly Worker
To: [e-mail]
Date: 03/27/05 23:17:04 EST
Subject: Deliverable deadline

Hi all... I just wanted to let you all know that I have received most of your status reports, but that the deliverable deadline is fixed. Therefore, if you will not be able to make the deadline, please adjust your status report schedule to fit the deadline.

Thanks!

--
Molly Worker

by Paddy O'Haloren July 16, 2008