Retard handler

Individual tasked with maintaining control of a single tard while outside the confines of the retard school. Their duties mostly revolve around keeping the tard from going full retard and unleashing their retard strength on the public. Usually the number of handlers to the tard is an excellent indicator of a retard's strength. A one to one ratio would indicate a low strength retard whereas two handlers to one tard indicates a super strength retard.

The Secret Service is made up of the nation's most elite and well trained retard handlers.

by Carlos SpicyWeiner September 9, 2013

Edward Handle Hands

A variation of the game "Edward 40 Hands" where participants use handles of vodka in place 40s the object of the game is to drink your 2 handles without succumbing to alcohol poisoning. in layman's terms the winner is the one who isn't dead at the end of the night.

Dude 1: Hey bro, Jimmy, Bob, and Tim played edward handle hands last night.

Dude 2: oh really? Who won?

Dude 1: Tim...Jimmy and Bob's funeral is going to be next week. which color polo should I wear to it?

by Sparx103 May 12, 2009

Leathered as a handlebar

Being in a state of of extreme drunkenness, but unable to vocalise the much more reasonable, 'Leathered as a handbag". i.e: the inability to identify the real phrase of the moment, instead reeling off many similar sounding phrases.

Any variation of the above is acceptable.
i.e: Leathered as a satchel
Satcheled as a handle bag,
Handlebaged as a leather.
Most variants are welcome.

"Mate, are you going to come on the beers tonight?"

"No thank you mate, I'm leathered as a handlebar".

by Anti Valmont December 2, 2009

jug handle

A fork in the road that bends in a loop or "P" shape, letting drivers make a left turn or a U-turn on a busy road without having to slow down in the left lane. Most commonly used in New Jersey.

"Then, you go through three sets of lights, and go through a jug handle..."

by Bill M. December 17, 2004

handle up

Complete your current task

I had to handle up on this report i was writing.

by Robbi Reed September 25, 2005

handlebars

High ponytails on a female. Named so for ability to use these as a control during oral sex, rather like the same thing on a bike.

"I can't wear handlebars around him anymore, he damn near pulled my hair out last time."

by CasKat April 20, 2006

poo handle

stuffing a piece of crap under the handle of somebody's car door, so as when they go to open it, said piece of crap is ground into their finger tips and jammed under their finger nails.

Burt:"My boss is being a dick lately."
Rudy:"Let's sneak out before he leaves work and give him a poo handle."

by ric_IH December 16, 2007