Bacon Turtle

A Turtle, usually a King Turtle of the Royal Turtle Guard. Also a word for assorted meats shaped like a turtle.

A Bacon Turtle loves bacon and spreads the word and belief of Bacon. Bacon Turtles and Turtles alike are enemies of the Panda Army and the Penguin Union. The King Bacon Turtle was defeated at The Puffin-Koala Gap by the Pan-da Warriors in PANDA 7 (Panda Years), and he later retreated to plot an all-out war on the Panda Army. The Bacon Turtle and his Royal Turtle Guard is no match for the Elite Pan-da Warriors.

The Bacon Turtle began at a humble little wood building on the corner of a busy street, titled: Bacon Turtle & Associates. They sold chocolate-covered bacon and bacon shaped like turtles. Since then, they have grown into a legitomato army. The Bacon Turtle and his associates are the exclusive members of the I Don't Care Club. The Turtle Motto is "Viva la Bacon, TGIF" (Long Live Bacon, Thank God It's Friday).
Bacon Turtle: Kneel before your almighty ruler, the Bacon Turtle!
Panda: No.
Bacon Turtle: Then you will face a life of bacon deprivation. Take him away, Royal Turtle Guard!
Panda: Is this some sort of torture, because I'm not addicted to bacon...
Bacon Turtle: Are you insulting my religion? Do you wish to say that you are against bacon? You will be locked in a room with bacon!
Panda: Free bacon is fine with me...

Epic Meal Time: We're cooking up some BACON, AND TURTLES! THAT MEANS BACON TURTLES!
by Panda Army Representative January 17, 2014
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turtle smack

To very slowly smack someone, but to step into it so quick at the end, they get their shit wrecked.
Ill turtle smack the shit outta you nigga”
by bigjawbreaker December 01, 2017
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Turtle tunnel

The guy last night had a turtle tunnel
by Kandykitty February 23, 2025
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Hairyback Ninja Turtle

Accidentally falling out of a ladies Vagina only to reinsert in a hurry and enter her Anus
Michaelangelo slipped out of April's Pussy and ended up Cowabunging her in the Sewerpipe, causing a Hairyback Ninja Turtle
by Wogboy13 May 18, 2023
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Turtle Calves

When someone's calves are so large, that they look like they have a baby turtle inside them.
Dude! Check out those girls legs! She has HUGE turtle calves!
legs workout calves exercise

Bruh, have you seen Jessica Simpson's turtle calves?
by thatonesuperradicalchick March 09, 2015
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chocolate malted turtle

When you're turtle heading a turd, but also want to have anal. So the turd gets yoyo-ed up and down your anal cavity only to explode out on completion
I really needed to shit but he came at me with the lube and I couldn't say no, but I ended up doing a chocolate malted turtle all over his dick
by Snarf snarf January 19, 2016
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asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.
"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"
by MercWidaMouth November 10, 2010
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