depressed wank

After experiencing a sad moment in your life and you try to cheer yourself up by having a wank but you get no pleasure out of it
My mum just died and I have been wanking for ten hours now and it doesn't even feel good, I just want to feel something. I wish I wasn't having a depressed wank
by Dictionaryvision April 18, 2017
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wank plank

A piece of wood that you put up against your door handle to stop anyone coming in your room.
hey whats he doing with that plank of wood
i think he's gona use it to stop anybody going into his room whiles he's doing stuff, he calls it his wank plank
by dec457 April 06, 2011
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Eskimo Wank

The act of placing your hand in a freezer for an extended period of time and then proceeding to masturbate. Often used by Alex Birtwistle..
Alex: I really fancy having an eskimo wank tonight, but the freezer is broken.
*Alex cries*|
by Penthouse9 February 14, 2015
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Maintenance Wank

When you're participating in nofap and you begin to over sexualise things, like apple pies and peanut butter sandwhiches, it's time for a maintenance wank. This keeps your inner sexual deviant at bay, while also reducing the amount of awkward boners you might experience.
Guy 1: "I keep getting stiffies when I see anything that vaguely resembles titties or a vagina, it's killing me."
Guy 2: "Mate, it's time for a maintenance wank. If you don't let off some pressure, your dick is going to take over."
by Zima69err July 13, 2016
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mirror wank

pleasing yourself infront of the mirror (sexually) often for the benefit of yourself and sometimes others. people have the incentive to carry out a mirror wank because they find themself aesthetically pleasing. however it is advised not to do this infront of crazy mirrors as this could cause a false sense of confidence or a feeling of belittlement depending on the convexity of the mirror.
'hey bro, i just had an awesome mirror wank'
'gnarley'
by joshco95 November 11, 2013
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Reality wank

A masturbatory fantasy about a celebrity you could probably shag in real life such as any of the actresses from " Hollyoaks "
Oh Gladys dont wait up for me I'm off for a reality wank
by Leeny Burghers April 04, 2003
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Roll wank

When a rather large woman pushes together two rolls of fat, the man lubes up, thrusting his cock between the rolls of fat.
Jim: hey mark, did fatty stay over again last night?
Mark: yeah she did and we tried something new.
Jim: oh yeah?
Mark: yeah, a roll wank. It's a bit like a tit wank . She pushed together two of her rolls of fat, I lubed up, and thrusted my cock between them. I'd highly recommend it.

Jim: think I'm ok mate
by Dirty thirty November 14, 2012
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