Jesus 

The most amazing person who ever walked on the face of the earth. He died for our sins because the wages of sins is death but the gift of God is eternal life.

Little Girl: Dear Jesus, please forgive me for hitting billy with my lunchbox today.
Jesus: I forgive you. I already paid for your sins with my perfect blood

Jesus by Jazzi021 December 3, 2006

jesus 

1.an explanation of emense anger or angrivation or pleasure

2.John Lennon

*JESUS!

*"all we are saying is give peace a chance"

jesus by Argentina Funkehouser February 2, 2008

Jesus 

A Jesus is an epic guy. If you come across a Jesus, keep him. He might be shy at first, but once you get to know him, he can be a really cool and outgoing guy. He is damaged from previous relationships. He is very hesitant, and doubtful. He might be hard to break. He has a lot of things going on that he might not wanna talk about. In time, you will crack his shell and find the real him. He is a great boyfriend, although he can make mistakes. He can be depressed, sad and lonely. Keep him forever.He can be fun and he is epic. Let him know that you care. That can be a matter of life or death for him.

Jesus might be shy, but he sure is awesome.

Jesus by Lexi_Love November 19, 2012

Jesus 

He wasn't as famous as the Beatles.
He could walk on water, which could explain why He was a fisherman.
He was also a carpenter, but came to have a dislike for nails.
His mom was knocked up by God.
He made the cross popular, which is good because you need one to chase off vampires.
Last name is Christ.
Santa Claus invented a holiday about him, so that he could sell trees and sneak into peoples houses.

Tom: "Oh shit"!
Dick: "What the Fu....."
Harry: "Jesus Christ"!
Jesus: "Hey mister! Can I mow your lawn"?

Jesus by morningwould January 4, 2013

Jesus 

1. - Jewish guy who lived over 1000 years ago. Found the religions of Christianity. Also known as Jeebus.
2. - Interjection, expressing shock, serious aggravation, grief or other extremely unpleasant emotion.
3. - Hispanic male name.

Man A - Jesus died for your sins.
Man B - wut.

Man A - My right hand got sawed off with a lawnmower.
Man B - Jesus!

Man A - Como estas usted, Jesus?

Jesus by Zand July 20, 2008

jesus 

Someone who you can casually bring into conversations to cause bewilderment among your peers.

Someone who also seems to do things wrong.

Person 1: I'm going shopping, what do you need?
Person 2: Biscuits.
Person 1: We've still got some haven't we?
Person 2: Nah. Jesus ate them all.

Upon seeing the mess on the floor Person 3 exclaimed 'Jesus Christ!'

jesus by Who d'ya think! July 16, 2007

Jesus 

1.) Word used for showing people that they have done wrong.
2.) Also used for yelling at yourself for doing something wrong

1.)"Jesus kid look what you did now!"
2.) Jesus my wife is going to be pissed off to know that I fornicated the neighbors wife.

Jesus by justforthelulz February 9, 2009