Benjamin Evelyn Waters:
Born: (sometime in the 1800s per his demeanor)
Died: September 27th, 2035
Born in the quaint town of Heidelberg MS Benjamin Evelyn Waters was the proud adopted and abducted son to a family of beavers. Strange as it may sound, Benjamin surely enjoyed his grueling education in his younger years as he learned to stop up the city’s water supply with twigs and dead cats as he used his bodily functions as jet propulsion through the various streams and sewers. He became well known for his skills in sticky things and outlandish sentences, so much so that a community near his town was promptly named in honor of his frequent visits to its meadows where he delivered copious amounts of Benjamin Evelyn Waters seedlings to fellow female beavers.
Benjamin Evelyn Waters pursued his aspirations to leave his primitive ways, and become a great man. Sadly, this did not happen. He did however become a very accomplished literary writer. He is best known for his auto-biography: “The Transgressing Life of a Silent But Deadly Man,” and his renowned poem, “Oh My Weary Soul, Why Hast Thou Fucked Me?”
Not much is known about Benjamin Evelyn Waters middle-age years, as no one cared to record his life events. This, as he would later go on to comment, “ was not anyone’s fucking business anyway.“
Benjamin Evelyn Waters died on Sept 27th, 2035 after farting so violently that his heart burst asunder.
He is survived by his concubine, Desiree, and his son Theodore Relevance Waters
Born: (sometime in the 1800s per his demeanor)
Died: September 27th, 2035
Born in the quaint town of Heidelberg MS Benjamin Evelyn Waters was the proud adopted and abducted son to a family of beavers. Strange as it may sound, Benjamin surely enjoyed his grueling education in his younger years as he learned to stop up the city’s water supply with twigs and dead cats as he used his bodily functions as jet propulsion through the various streams and sewers. He became well known for his skills in sticky things and outlandish sentences, so much so that a community near his town was promptly named in honor of his frequent visits to its meadows where he delivered copious amounts of Benjamin Evelyn Waters seedlings to fellow female beavers.
Benjamin Evelyn Waters pursued his aspirations to leave his primitive ways, and become a great man. Sadly, this did not happen. He did however become a very accomplished literary writer. He is best known for his auto-biography: “The Transgressing Life of a Silent But Deadly Man,” and his renowned poem, “Oh My Weary Soul, Why Hast Thou Fucked Me?”
Not much is known about Benjamin Evelyn Waters middle-age years, as no one cared to record his life events. This, as he would later go on to comment, “ was not anyone’s fucking business anyway.“
Benjamin Evelyn Waters died on Sept 27th, 2035 after farting so violently that his heart burst asunder.
He is survived by his concubine, Desiree, and his son Theodore Relevance Waters
“Here lies Benjamin Evelyn Waters amidst a field of roses.
The gas could not wait, but the strain was too great,
And now he drinks with Moses.”
The gas could not wait, but the strain was too great,
And now he drinks with Moses.”
by Lather Me With Butter September 20, 2022
Get the Benjamin Evelyn Waters mug.TBH Evelyn is a genuine person. She loves to get high and forget their problems. She always make goals to do better for themselves and then forgets to do what she told herself to do. But she always makes sure her friends and family are doing good. she pushes them to do better. Often times she puts others feelings before her own. She would be a great girlfriend just be cautious. She probably has daddy issues and always wants to cuddle. But she is also the most loyal girl you could ask for.
by ILoveLilPeeP<3 September 29, 2022
Get the Evelyn mug.Often referrred to as Evie or Eve. Been thrown under the bus a lot! However , her resilience is remarkable, always survives. Acts often Independent, manages Solitude well. Would prefer a companion, her dog will do. Whacky sense of humor, has serious moments too, she's so sensitive. She's a rebel whose recovered from trauma, mistakes, abuse, she was naieve. Very sullen, quietly hides from the world when dissappointed. She's a target for narcissists, there's no fooling her anymore. Dislikes liars. Prefers her peeps to be consistent and on time. Do not cross her, she'll make you wish you never met her. She is very forgiving,her mind is like a trap remembering details, often buries in the abyss of her soul. She admits she has unclassified border personality disorder It's her quirks. Binges on chocolate, disrupting diabetes. Been through so much gave her heart disease. If she really loves you, she won't admit it until it ls commitment time,she will always Love You. Alcohol's her worst enemy, best she has little vino, just enough for giggles. True loves or hates no in between. And Very Unpredictable.
Dk Brown hair turns to grey highlights,hazel eyes, my best friend. Evelyn is Honest, to the point of brutal transparency, don't be vague with her, she'll see right through your smokescreen facade. A real Empath. She's in many lifetimes... you won't forget or regret meeting an Evelyn. Fun That's Me I'm an Evelyn
Dk Brown hair turns to grey highlights,hazel eyes, my best friend. Evelyn is Honest, to the point of brutal transparency, don't be vague with her, she'll see right through your smokescreen facade. A real Empath. She's in many lifetimes... you won't forget or regret meeting an Evelyn. Fun That's Me I'm an Evelyn
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Get the Evelyn mug.She is the damn cutest if you see her you will fill with joy she has the best smile and is a wonderful person
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