Divorce

What your parents get when your born and it’s almost always your fault.

Jimmy: My parents are getting a divorce.
Timmy: What did you do?

by Godisdead69 September 4, 2019

redneck divorce

n. an order of protection (or restraining order) obtained against one's spouse

Intern: But I don't get it, judge. They're not living together, they're fighting over this boat, he has an order of protection out against her, but they're still married?

Judge: Neither one of them would agree to pay the attorney's fees for an actual divorce. This is what some lawyers call a redneck divorce.

by Covite November 28, 2011

velvet divorce

running with the idea of a velvet rope, a velvet divorce is a dissolution of a relationship where you get the better end of the deal (the house, the furniture, the friends) while the other person is basically left with nothing

person 1: oh girl, i heard about you and john, are you ok?

person 2: absolutely! it was a velvet divorce. the house is mine and he's moving into some little apartment next week.

person 1: alright girl, work it

by samhannach October 30, 2013

happily divorced

The opposite of happily married. Just really glad to be rid of that bitch.

Dude, are you still happily married?
No, bruh, I'm happily divorced.

by Hugeau April 15, 2019

divorce

Detailed explaination of divorce in plain English: Divorce 101

(D)addy getting screwed out of his life-savings.

(I)rate mommy packing up daddy's belongings, putting them out on the doorstep.

(V)endettas marked by malicous acts of revenge.

(O)rnery bitches who are hell-bent on destroying your life, making these derogatory remarks about your sex-life to their girlfriends.

(R)ich, powerful attorneys making an absolute fortune off your hard-earned money with these mounting legal bills.

(C)onstant nagging from an ex-wife to a deadbeat father for his refusal to pay any child support.

(E)xcessive alcohol consumption to ease a beleaguered man's pain.

"My parents got a divorce a year and a half ago."

by Tagman77 February 17, 2004

divorce song

A song that has lyrics that glorify the end of a romantic relationship.

Ray-J song "No More", Tevin Campbell song "Goodbye", and the R. Kelly and Nivea duet "Laundromat" are divorce songs.

by Anonymous July 31, 2003

divorce

the fault of the child

The day my parents divorced, my uncle turned to me and said, "Good work."

by rwpfister April 25, 2008