Crumpet crippler

The act of shitting out the digested remains of a crumpet, placing it on one’s hand, and slapping one in the genitals until they orgasm uncontrollably leaving them paralysed.

Steve, I’m horny. Give me a crumpet crippler.

by Scousebirdcoleen October 10, 2019

Steamed Crumpet

Dropping a juicy, ripe, musky turd in the gym steam room, cranking the heat and then heading for the showers.

It was as if a demon had sucked the air out of old Dorian’s lungs when he stepped into the steam room and was over come by the vaporous fog of Cedric’s steamed crumpet.

by Dick Onchin February 5, 2023

tea & crumpets

something gingers eat for lunch

oh those tea & crumpets look nice

by GrannyNorma21 July 19, 2017

Crumpet Muncher

A redcoat tea taxer.

Remember when we threw those fucking crumpet munchers' tea into the Boston harbor.

by Npet2301 April 13, 2022

Crumpet

Word to describe/classify your stereotypical British fucks, who are incredibly annoying, narcissistic, and like to kiss ass. They're the type of people to eat incredibly flavorless food like un-buttered stale crumpets or scones that just tastes like flour, living up to the stereotype that white people have flavorless food. They also use incredibly annoying vocabulary and like to pick on other people a lot. A disgrace to the entire British nation.

Example:

A: Hey did hear what Elizabeth said in class?
B: I know she's such a fucking scone.

Or..

A: THIS FUCKING CRUMPET KEEPS TRYING TO GET ME INTO TROUBLE
B: I have a fair share of scones in my class too don't worry about it...

by greasy krispey and sexy May 24, 2018

crumpet burner

Someone who makes it their main purpose to ruin the fun for everyone else.

Look at that crumpet burner pop that kids balloon

by Toshir0z January 12, 2015

Crumpeting

When you shove a warm, buttered crumpet up your arsehole.

Last week I caught Bogdan Crumpeting.

by Lord Pervert of Shittingswell November 18, 2023