double-barreled assault and battery

(Not to be confused with domestic violence,m since more often than not, domestic violence is single-handedly one-sided): when both partners in a relationship commit physical, mental, emotional and psychological violence and abuse against each other, usually following acrimonious arguments.

IMHO Slava Voynov's recent case is double-barreled assault and battery, not domestic violence, since both he and his girlfriend required medical attention following the incident.

by Sexydimma January 12, 2015

Turd assault

A turd assault is when you go to take a crap, but all that comes out are turds. There is an absence of any long pieces of poop, and only short, round turds are present. Usually dissapointing for any male to experience.

My last toilet visit was just a turd assault. What a rip...

by WhiteyMcWhitster July 4, 2006

reverse fleshlight assfuck

when a male/female sticks the opposite end of a fleshlight in their anus, and lets a male fuck the shit out of the fleshlight.

Tayer: Hey Zach wanna come over I got a new fleshlight!!!!

Zach: As long as you let me reverse fleshlight assfuck you!

Tayer: Okay!!!!!!!

by ilovejizzzzzzum October 26, 2011

assfacet

An assfacet is an asshole who, per legend, has a small invisible knob on their neck that is almost constantly turning. This releases a flow of assholishness that influences all others in the vicinity. Occasionally the knob stops turning and they become normal, but on an average day it is turning.

"Have you seen Molly's new boyfriend, Jake?"

"Yea, he's a total assfacet, though."

by Mark ;) November 10, 2008

Sack Assault

Definition:

To hit someone with your sack more than 1 time in a row. Mostly done to the victim's face.

*****snoooooarrrrr******

Brian: "Dude, watch this..."
Andrew: "What are you going to do to Oliver? He's sleeping."
Andrew: "You'll see..."

a few seconds later

Brian: "SACK ASSAULT!"
Andrew: "YES! SO GOOD!"
Oliver: "ha..ha..ha...I'm gunna cut you"

by WendyWendyWendy March 3, 2009

Textual Assault

The acting of continually text messaging an acquaintance 5 or more times regarding a particular subject, typically resulting in irritation of the receiver.

"Jane is textually assaulting me over this school project. She needs to chill the fuck out".
"Laura was pissed after the textual assault she received from Jane".

by BlaneyGirl May 30, 2014

Eye Assault

When someone is made to see something that cannot be unseen. An assault on your sense of sight.

Sara left her computer unlocked, so Alex set up an eye assault by changing her homepage to meatspin.

by jpb103 October 8, 2016