Canine bidet

When you smear peanut butter on your chocolate starfish after pinching a loaf to entice a dog to lick it off, thus cleaning your ass.

I usually prefer the canine bidet to a regular one, but I ran out of skippy.

by Milkbones August 22, 2019

bachelor bidet

When someone uses a shower as a bidet when there is no toilet paper available or someone is too lazy to buy toilet paper.

I ran out of toilet paper, so I jumped in the bachelor bidet to clean myself.

by Micro Mage March 13, 2020

Scotch Bidet

The art of washing ones rectum with the shower head after dropping the kids off at the pool.1

There was no toilet paper left in the shop so I've had to resort to using the Scotch Bidet

by Bigcid March 21, 2020

Reverse Bidet

The exact polar opposite of a bidet; instead of being sprayed with a stream of fresh water from your toilet, you spray your toilet with a high-pressure stream of hot diarrhea.

1. I painted my girlfriends toilet with a Reverse Bidet.

2. Never lift the seat after a Reverse Bidet.

by SpankyJones September 3, 2020

Quebec Bidet

When you gracefully leave an upper decker, then use the bowl water to clean yourself afterwards.

Fuck bud, so I was at the corner store and buddy had no shit tickets, so I had to leave an upper decker and use the quebec bidet.

by HighstrikeGTR October 18, 2020

Reverse-bidet

When a man is urinating in a toilet and uses his stream of piss to pressure wash streaks of poop off the bowl.

I clean my toilet using the reverse-bidet method.

by Darthvader45 November 2, 2020

Redneck bidet

Carefully pinching your anus as a log is dropping to create a splash, creating enough of a splash to clean your asshole

Went drinking last night and I’m stuck at work w/ swamp ass
on a 12 hour shift w/ no baby wipes , just had to do a redneck bidet

by Falkowitz December 8, 2020