Grass Dick

When you get off a slip n’ slide and because you’re so wet grass starts sticking to your dick.

Bro you have a serious case of Grass Dick, it’s covered in grass! Practically eco-friendly dick.

Bro don’t rub your grass dick on my regular dick! Your gonna spread it!

by Cricket_Blunt_Enthusiast October 17, 2025

Peripheral Dick

Standing at the urinal and out of the corner of your eye you see a blurred penis.

Average Michael: Hey dude, not starring or anything but I can’t help but notice your pissing cock out of the corner of my eye.

Toby Maguire: Ah man don’t sweat it, That’s just Peripheral dick !

Average Michael: love your movies by the way!

Toby: thanks so much man, it’s always nice to meet a fan. What do you do for work ?

Average Mike: I actually recently got laid off for staring at men’s cocks in urinals. Been a tough year.

Toby: you think you’ve got a it rough I’ve got Dinosaur legs.

Michael: oh god I hadn’t noticed!

Toby: well it’s not called peripheral dinosaur legs is it you unemployed loser.

Average mike: dude that’s not very christmasy of you.

Toby: Goodbye my lover, you have been the one. You have been the one for me. Love from Toby (dinosaur legs) Maguire.

by Gibbon_Lips October 19, 2025

Squash Dicks

When two guys gently push their dicks into each other when soft. This is only acceptable when a high-five is not possible.

NO HANDS! If someone gets a chub they are banned from ever partaking in the squashing of dicks for life. Pants always on!

That guy had no hands so we had to Squash Dicks!

When we Squash Dicks I never get hard as I am not gay.

by anonymous October 21, 2025

Mummy Dick

When ones penis has to be wrapped to be wrapped in toilet paper because secretion is so bad.

Hey man to man to the clinic, I have a bad case of Mummy Dick.

by Onearmedcat October 28, 2025

Athletes Dick

Catching a rash or a fungus from a woman who has a yeast infection. During sex, or having an itchy sack

Tony caught athletes dick from karen

by Houdini2 October 30, 2025

Dick Drunk

When a lady has been slammed hard with a big ole hog for long enough that her endorphins flood her blood stream and she feels blissfully drunk, sleepy, unsteady, and can't speak. *You do not need to reach climax to get dick drunk but you usually will once you get there.

Girl, he got me so dick drunk last night I couldn't move and I passed out in the puddle I made.

by Flimflamshimsham October 31, 2025

Mummy Dick

When you have an STD, and your penis leaks so bad that you have to wrap it up in toilet paper.

Rob BOB: Can you take me to the clinic I have a bad case of mummy dick.

by Onearmedcat November 1, 2025