Colorado Matt

When you go to a conference thousand’s of miles away… and you happen to go with two attractive ladies… after the first day is done, you and the two ladies agree to have dinner and drinks. One thing leads to another and the suggestion is made to go to the hot tub. So everyone goes to their hotel room to change. Colorado Matt is feeling great believes a fun night is ahead. So Colorado Matt changes into his bathing suit and just before exiting the room, he takes two viagra’s. All parties then convene at the hotel’s hot tub. Drinks are had and after a few hours, both of those attractive girls thank Matt for a fun time but state that they have to leave for the night. Colorado Matt, fully torqued.. realizes that he has a big problem, he’s alone for the night….without taking a load off. It’s now approaching 11pm and the security guard for the hotel approaches Matt and says, “hey buddy, I’m turning off the jets.” Matt then realizes that his towel is across the pool area, and in order to get over to his towel… he has to get out of the hot tub, fully torqued, and walk over to his towel. What started off as a fun night… led to a torqued night without the ability to release. That is the story of Colorado Matt.

Dude, I got Colorado Matt’ed when I was in Florida at this conference. I was so torqued but couldn’t go to bed for hours.

Brodie, how was your conference? Dude, I got Colorado Matt’ed. I thought I was in!! Little did I know that I would be closing the bar out by myself. I still have a great time though.

by Torqued Matt June 25, 2025

Yes Matt

There is a 50/50 chance I can in fact demonstrate that God is possible. God you're dumb!

Hym "Yes Matt! I can! By putting a bullet in your head. If God exists... Putting a bullet in your head will prove that it exists! Immediately! Easy! Killing you either proves or disproves God immediately as a matter of absolute certainty. Doesn't prove it to me. But yes, I can falsify God. I solved the Jew-Riddle. I'm smart. You're dumb. That is why you don't challenge the greatest mind who has ever lived, Matt! Yes I can demonstrate the existence of God. We can do a global genocide and that will prove once and for all whether or not God is real. And ultimately we won't have to because the sun explodes."

by Hym Iam July 5, 2025

Hakuna Matitty

Hakuna Matata a phrase used in the Lion King movies meaning “No Worries”. But in this sense, Hakuna Matitty means “No titties” or lack of seeing titties.

Ive been in a Hakuna Matitty spell lately, My girlfriend is out of town for a week and I just wanna see some titties!

by Mikelowery965 August 12, 2025

The matt effect

When you feel horny all day after messaging matt the night before.

Her: I've been horny all day
Matt: that'll be the matt effect

by Pappa_mike September 24, 2025

Pulling the Matt

Saying one will return back soon but never actually coming back

James pulled a Matt and hasnt been back in 42 hours Pulling the Matt

by Grimeggs August 7, 2014

doing a Matt

When you constantly cock block yourself and call your crush a "fat whale" and call that 'flirting.'

Guy 1: Wtf why doesn't my crush like me back

Guy 2: Umm maybe because you made her pay on the date and they said "goodbye fat bitch" at the end

Guy 1: Oh shit, I 'm doing a Matt

by ummokaymatt June 9, 2018

Connor + Matt

A couple who do everything together including games and other forms of shit

"Hey Matt you wanna play Cards Against Humanity?"
"Only if Connor is Playing" -Matt
"Damn well Connor + Matt"

by NatsuDK November 19, 2018