if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle

Used to describe the pointlessness of the word if. Similar to but better to use than "if ifs and buts were candy and nuts Christmas would be every day."

If I had some money I'd pay you that money back. Well if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle.

by Adam7172 September 17, 2016

calabash uncle

A Hawaiian term for a male friend of the family so close that he is considered family. Often with a closer relationship to the kid and parents than a godparent.

I could always count on seeing my calabash uncle on football Sunday.

by Stumpy Keates Esq. January 10, 2009

instructions unclear

A phrase said when either the instructions were vague or not understood. Usually followed by getting one's genitals stuck in household appliances.

Instructions: To get your witchmax-2000 broomstick up and running you must sacrifice 1 virgin(whose first name must start with an 'X') on an altar which has the shape of the map of Argentina while reading the bible backwards in an Australian accent while writing the solution of three complex differential equations on the altar with a black bpelikan/b marker.
Once complete, proceed with soaking the bat feathers in the virgin blood and your good to go.

User: Instructions unclear, got dick stuck in the toaster. Help..?

by SirBarks alot July 14, 2016

unclefucker

One who engages in the act of coitus with the brother of his father or mother

"You're an unclefucker that is true, no one fucks uncle quite like you!"

by Horatio Nelson April 17, 2003

uncl

You misspelled uncle dumbass

You: Hey, uncl,
Uncle: what? Btw I'm goin to rape you

by The classic memer July 25, 2018

Uncle Kevin

The best Uncle there could possibly be. He is funny and bald. He always spoils his favorite niece. He is very sarcastic. And he likes to sit on his A$$ alot for fun (:
He is probably the specialist old man you'll ever meet.

Uncle Kevin is my favorite uncle!

by Your favorite niece May 14, 2014

Filthy Uncle

A animated short, containing crude and shocking gags.

I saw the best Filthy Uncle yesterday... It had Oprah and Ellen in 2 girls 1 cup

by GoldenG25 October 16, 2008