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Miracle Wipe

After defecating, the first wipe of one's ass reveals a piece of toilet paper that is completely spotless and free of fecal matter. This is evidence that one's ass is already clean, requiring no further wipes.
I had to take a dump right before class. Luckily I had a miracle wipe, or I would've been late for sure!
by docpyser September 25, 2010
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faith wipe

When you take a shit and don't wipe. You establish blind faith between yourself and your asshole that you won't leave shit stains on your underpants.
Yesterday me and the village boys took shits in the field and we all just faith wiped.
by MistaDillPickle June 2, 2018
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Related Words

wasted wipe

pulling the trigger mid-shit and wiping before you are really done.
I can’t handle the heartache of another wasted wipe.
by H. Bruce Washington July 7, 2021
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No End Wipe

A defecation that renders the ass virtually unable to be 100% fully cleaned. No matter how many wipes you make, using paper or moist wipes, remnant fecal matter is always present. In a No End Wipe situation, you just finally give up and are willing to accept having a semi-clean arse.
Johnny used and entire pack of Cottonelle Moist Wipes on his bum after he had an Assplosion and a No End Wipe.
by Eaton Holgoode November 25, 2015
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Don’t forget to wipe!

A common send-off in the morning by one spouse to the other now that we continue to work long into old age and may need little reminders here and there.
Bye dear, have a good day and don’t forget to wipe!
by Dr Bunnygirl September 4, 2020
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Cocoa Nut Wipe

When a man, while sitting on the crapper, attempts to wipe himself after crapping but accidentally swipes his hanging nuts with doo-doo stained toilet paper.
Man, my girlfriend and I were about to do it for the first time last night until she grabbed by balls and suffered the remnants of a cocoa nut wipe.
by King Pip January 21, 2009
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Maintenance Wipe

Any follow-up ass wiping that is loosely associated with a prior shit. Primarily to make sure the ass is completely clean before leaving the homestead and going out to locations where bathrooms might not be as available or as user friendly as you’d prefer them to be. Also useful to clean swamp ass.
Father Jimbo will be ready to go to the bar as soon as he makes one more phonecall and does a maintenance wipe.
by Father Jimbo February 16, 2010
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