Turd Monger

A Turd Monger is someone who has reached a state of having to pass a heavy bowel movement. The Turd Monger however, will not immediately relieve him/herself. Instead, they will allow their bowels to continue to expand as their fecal matter increases, resulting in noisomeness, gaseous emissions (commonly referred to as pre-shit farts) to be excreted from their posterior orifice while being within a close proximity of others. These exudations are generally quite robust and are slow to dissipate, thus resulting in a prolonged period of olfactory anguish to the recipients within range.

It's about time that damn Turd Monger Ricky decided to go and unload! Christ, that chair of his must be explosive by now, considering all the gas he's pumped into it.

by Big Ed Moustapha February 24, 2010

turd merchant

Someone who is constanatly trying to sell you some bullshit. Sells turds at retail, whole sale, ware house, and discount prices.

"Claus is such a turd merchant that he is trying to convince Mdub that Robyn is finer than Lindsey; BULLSHIT !"

by The duck! April 11, 2004

snow turd

the build up of snow & ice under a moving vehicle during a snow storm, which eventually falls off and rolls out from underneath.

"Hey Dave, check out that snow turd coming out from that truck!"

by Timothy D. Wilson November 1, 2006

turd breath

A particularly noxious form of bad breath. The offender's breath smells like he or she has just chewed a mouthful of turds.

Every time that teacher at tech. school tries to help me with my computer, I can smell her turd breath.

by Randy February 27, 2005

steaming turd

A very disreputable and disgusting person. Any descriptive with the word "turd" can serve to stress the particularly egregious nature of the person's unpleasantness.

The boss made it evident in the relish he took in firing people what a steaming turd he was.

by Duckbutt December 7, 2005

Video Turd

A boy who is addicted to playing video games with his buddies while secretly wishing he could go down on them. He is extremely awkward around women because his face is covered with acne. He also likes to expose himself to grandmas. It's a mommy thing.

Girls his age try to avoid talking to him because his breath smells like he just ate his dog's turds. His moto is...when you can't be with the one you love, love your own dick. Besides playing video games he likes to hang out in bathrooms and listen to people take a poop. Do not confuse him with a video nerd, a boy who beats off while playing fortnite.

Wow, that video turd tried to brag about being the next to last standing in fortnite but I had to turn away because his pimples made me gag and he smells like my cat's litter box.

by Yeahbutthis Istrue March 4, 2020

turd hunt

A pointless, unpleasant activity one is obligated to perform for little or no reward.

From the movie "48 HOURS".

Jack Cates: You been dickin' me around since we started this turd hunt! Only thing you're good for is GAMES. So far, what I got out of you is nothin'.

by Gunplumber January 24, 2006