Mistaken Identity

Every time he goes out people approach him on the street and tell them how much he helped them.... And he's like "What, wait... I never said that." And then he realizes that IT WASN'T HIM! IT WAS HYM! ME HYM! And then he cries like a bitch about it because he wants the 80,000 a month he gets on patreon but he KNOWS that he's defrauding them! He can't tell the truth because he'll lose everything! And NOW, he's trying to rally politicians behind him like Tulsi Gabbard and Dan Crenshaw, collude with the media, BEGGING them to protect him so he can pretend to be a religious thought leader! Even though HIS THOUGHTS aren't what made those people throw their money at him! Lookathimlookathimlookathim! He's "Duplicitous" now! Ahahahahahaha! Look. He's going to try to beat me to the punch and kill the creature before me. Jordan... If a casual gaze from me was enough to SHEAR YOU TO YOUR CORE... What are YOU going to do the the creature!? If The Humbling River that is my soul washing over you was enough to rend the spirit from your meat Gundam... What hope do you possibly have against the creature? What are you going to do when I get there!? Silence me!? Super-bosses are immune to status effects you idiot! What accessory do you think I have equipped!? AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHA! AAAAAAAHAHAAAAA! Take a guess! AND I'M SUPPOSED TO HUMBLE MYSELF BEFORE HIM!? And not ME Hym but HIM HIM!? BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What happens when you kill it, Jordan?

What are YOU going to do when the creature RESURRECTS ITSELF FROM THE DEAD!? BET YOU DIDN'T THINK OF THAT! Did you!? All of the religious people that watch and I bet NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU THOUGHT OF THAT! Ye of little faith! I bet you all thought "You can't kill God" or "God isn't real". And THAT is exactly how I know that you can't do it! It's too late. You didn't think of it fast enough. 0 out of 9 billion. You know what? If you thought of it, good for you, you clearly get it. So, what I'm going to do is take challengers inbetween rounds and whoever thought of it gets first dibs.

Hym "Wow guys! One case of mistaken identity and you let a LITERAL NIETZSCHIAN MEGALOMANIAC CHARLATAN make a FRANTIC POWER GRAB while taking money under false pretenses. Grabbing up the half the media, a few fringe politicians, SEVERAL religious communities. Jesus christ! Do you SEE how you keep getting the Hitlers!? He isn't CLIMBING some hierarchy... YOU'RE SHOVING HIM TO THE TOP! OH PLEASE DADDY CRUSH US UNDER YOUR IRON FIST! FASTER DADDY! I'm not saying he's Hitler but HOLY SHIT."

Dr. JeepJorp "YoU sHoUlD bE pRaIsInG mE fOr My LaUdAbLe AmBiTiOn! Or imitating/worshipping me (Because those two words mean the same thing to me). What do you mean 'I'm talking to disaffected young men'? I wasn't talking to those useless weasels! I've solved the riddle of the human mind! I, the golden prophet! It's right here in this Bible!"

by Hym Iam March 27, 2023

Asexual (+: A catch-all for all other identities and orientations not covered by the specific letters.)

What i call homo-sapiens addicted to abscesses.

Person 1: Are you addicted to abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Asexual (+: A catch-all for all other identities and orientations not covered by the specific letters.)

by Abreathofaversaillian January 20, 2025

Post-Metaphorical Identity

Post-Metaphorical Identity is the non-identification with any metaphorical sign, movement, characteristic, or collective as an individual. The Post-Metaphorical Identity school of thought is very similar to the Post-Racial school of thought, however the Post-Metaphorical Identity school is more strictly intellectual, less popular, and more strict in its final consideration of what is considered proper identity clauses in an educated populace.

Post-Metaphorical Identity is more literal, expansive, scientific, and agreed upon than any other identity signatures, such as white or black, as it is obvious to any apparent onlooker.

Post-Metaphorical Identity is final, deliberate, and scientific. Way to go!

by CoaltownBrown January 3, 2023

Family Identities

Gender Identity Variant
Anyone can be whoever they want.

Antishoplifting Mom
Mom
Mother

Questioning Dad
Dad
Daddy

Lady Uncle
Uncle
Uncle’s Cousin

Gentleman Aunt
Aunt
Aunt’s Distant Cousin

Guy

It's up to you, we're all guys family identities.

Mother can Uncle's Cousin is Questioning Dad.

by Dr.Bota November 8, 2021

Virtual Identity

User’s online presence that holds the potential to be the key to ones online identity, value and worth.

User’s online presence is virtual identity

by s j tubrazy April 21, 2013

HVID Hopping varying identity disorder

Hopping varying identity Disorder means that varying on what, it could be anything, it varies f.ex if you have it on ADHD maybe sometimes you can concentrate perfectly but when you're doing something else you can't concentrate at all. But you can also have it on multiple things at once. (not real disorder)

Person 1-Hey didn't you have HVID Hopping varying identity disorder?
Person 2-Yeah..
Person 1-On what?
Person 2-Social Anxiety.

by The painfull spatula October 7, 2021

Identity

That one thing every gay high school valedictorian uses the definition of for their graduation speech

"webster's dictionary defines Identity as..."

by PenisFish13 May 14, 2022