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car alarm

A device which insecure people waste money on because they are afraid their sacred, shiny cars will be stolen. Since about 99.9% of car alarms are false alarms, however, the owners eventually forget why they got the alarm in the first place, and get used to their cars crying wolf after a few occurrences.

Occasionally this will encourage angry neighbors to do whatever they can to put themselves and these useless devices out of their misery. This may include vandalizing the offending cars until they can disarm the screeching, honking, blaring whiners. Therefore, car alarms actually lead to more damage than good, and are one of the most foolish inventions in the history of mankind.
For the fiftieth time in two weeks, the car alarm went off triggered by a bird who perched itself on the trunk, which caused a neighbor to get a baton and whack the offending automobile until he was able to get to the alarm and break it in two. Five minutes later, as the commercial break arrived during the action thriller movie, the car owner came out. Suddenly he realized that the alarm he had originally came to stop was no longer blaring away. He then saw the damage to his precious luxury and fainted.
by Boxcar Bob February 24, 2008
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Redneck Alarm clock

Falling asleep with a full beer in your hand, waking up to it spilling on you, after you shift positions in your sleep.
He was so drunk last night that he turned on his Redneck Alarm clock.
by Donavan Murdoc July 15, 2009
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Golden Alarm Clock

This act can only occur when your lover or friend sleeps with thier mouth open. The person performing the loving golden alarm clock then procedes to urinate in thier lover/friend/random pick up's from the night before mouth. Good Morning!
"Sally Sue had a huge hangover and wouldn't wake up- so I gave her a golden alarm clock.... she won't be comming back from the bars with me ever again."
by Michelle Tanner September 4, 2006
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Fart Alarm

The act of going up to a sleeping person, bending over, and waking them up by farting near their face.
Bob was sleeping, so I decided to wake him up with a fart alarm.
by wolfpacleader1986 August 27, 2012
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Cock-Block Alarm Clock

When an alarm clock goes off during a highly erotic dream.
Dude, I was about to touch her boobs when my Cock-Block Alarm Clock went off. FUCK.
by T-Bag 69 October 24, 2011
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Dutch Oven Alarm Clock

when someone dutch ovens someone else, but while they are asleep and it smells so bad that they wake up gagging and gasping for air and have to stick their nose and mouth out of the blanket to be able to breathe and not suffocate in the horrid smell.
Greg dutch oven alarm clocked Shanaynay earlier this morning to wake her up for work.
by teeny peeny September 1, 2009
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Balls Alarm

The act of being woken up by your dog jumping up onto your bed and sticking his paw right on your ball sack. Usually results in you waking up earlier than you wanted to and in a lot of pain.
-I was trying to sleep in on Sunday morning until my dog gave me a balls alarm.
by AdvancedGentleman November 20, 2009
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