A bird who never sleeps, imitates other birds and animals, car horns, and whatnot, and doesn't shut up all night long, just because it is looking for a mate.
They can be recognized by their song: 'Chirrup chirrup chirrup tweet tweet tweet beep beep beep twirrup twirrup twirrup weet weet weet honk honk honk cheep cheep cheep bereep bereep bereep ...'
After being kept awake for 10 nights by the non-stop singing of the stupid mockingbird in the tree outside my bedroom, I lit up a stick of dynamite to blow up the tree and kill the annoying critter for good.
A process in which arrogant recruiters deny themselves the benefits of many talented, capable, candidates due to an unfair screening process that in absolutely no way reflects the everyday job situation or assesses the skills required to succeed.
A talented person who had produced major growth in his previous company and had 5 years of experience in C# got a rejection after a job interview in which the recruiter said he was not skilled enough to do the job. This was because they asked questions on language concepts that are rarely used in C# and gave a brainteaser algorithm to code up in a 15 minute time limit without a compiler or computer.
A city in coastal Northern California that has the foggiest, coldest, most disappointing summers in all the United States. 68 degrees is considered a heat wave there.
Tourist: I've been here for a week in mid-July and it's only reached 58 degrees, and I haven't seen the sun once or got a clear view of the redwoods. I'm sick of this darned jacket! When is it ever nice here?
Resident # 1: Here in Eureka it's cold and foggy all summer long, but if you like the sun, drive 30 minutes inland, where it's a toasty 100 degrees.
Resident # 2: When it reaches 75 in Eureka, our older residents die of heatstroke.
A mortgage company whose Internet ads are so annoying, intrusive, some almost criminally insane, that they actually produce the opposite effect of what they are meant to accomplish: loss of business and customers.
Person 1: When I go to Yahoo, I sometimes have to refresh the page 4 or 5 times before I can concentrate.
Person 2: Must be those ads from lowermybills.com.
Person 1: Right! From ugly 30-foot-long dogs, to sexually explicit animations, to irritating dancing silhouttes, I just want to make one animation with all their ad designers being blown off a cliff.
Buy a
lowermybills.com
mug!
Extremely annoying late spring to early summer (and sometimes all summer long) weather phenomenon in coastal Southern California that causes relentless, damp, dreary, miserable weather with drizzle and fog for weeks without end at the beaches. It sometimes spreads into the mountains. This shocks tourists who come to 'sunny Southern California' to instead find themselves in Alaska. It spoils beach days a'plenty and for most locals is the most dreaded time of the year. Number 1 cause for Seasonal Affective Disorder in Southern California. A.k.a. May Gray.
Tourist from East Coast: We're going to sunny Southern California to celebrate Memorial Day and the start of summer.
(Tourist arrives in San Diego)
Tourist: What's up with this stupid weather. Where is the sun?
Local: This is our June Gloom. We've just entered into winter in San Diego. You'll be very lucky if you see the sun at all the next month.
A device which insecure people waste money on because they are afraid their sacred, shiny cars will be stolen. Since about 99.9% of car alarms are false alarms, however, the owners eventually forget why they got the alarm in the first place, and get used to their cars crying wolf after a few occurrences.
Occasionally this will encourage angry neighbors to do whatever they can to put themselves and these useless devices out of their misery. This may include vandalizing the offending cars until they can disarm the screeching, honking, blaring whiners. Therefore, car alarms actually lead to more damage than good, and are one of the most foolish inventions in the history of mankind.
For the fiftieth time in two weeks, the car alarm went off triggered by a bird who perched itself on the trunk, which caused a neighbor to get a baton and whack the offending automobile until he was able to get to the alarm and break it in two. Five minutes later, as the commercial break arrived during the action thriller movie, the car owner came out. Suddenly he realized that the alarm he had originally came to stop was no longer blaring away. He then saw the damage to his precious luxury and fainted.
Hot, dry winds in Southern California that come from the desert, most common during fall or winter. They bring very low humidity, world class visibility, and perfect weather, until they incite arsonists to start fires, which the winds spread at explosive rates.
While New York was suffering with a mid-January blizzard, the Santa Ana winds came to Southern California and brought gorgeous 85 degree weather and deep blue skies to San Diego, at which point an arsonist scumbag started a fire that burned 750000 acres and 500 homes.
Buy a
Santa Ana winds
mug!
