Alabama James

The off-brand cousin of Indiana Jones who digs up “ancient relics” in junkyards and abandoned Walmarts. Instead of a whip, he carries a garden hose. Instead of a fedora, he wears a Bass Pro Shop hat.
Known for quotes like “It belongs in a Bass Pro Museum!” and “Snakes? I eat those for breakfast, son.” His idea of a hidden temple is an old Cracker Barrel with a suspicious basement.
Drives a rusty pickup named “The Ark of ‘Bama”, fights raccoons instead of Nazis, and once got cursed for stealing a haunted moonshine jug from a Civil War reenactment site.
Alabama James adventures include:
Alabama James and the Waffle House of Doom
Alabama James and the Lost Remote Control of Pawpaw
Alabama James and the Curse of the NASCAR Pharaoh
Has zero credentials, but says things like “Trust me, I majored in vibes.” Carries around a “holy relic” that’s just an unopened can of 1987 Tab cola.

Alabama James tried to raid a tomb but it turned out to be a Piggly Wiggly stockroom.

by Anttonedodeson June 01, 2025

Alabama oak ornament

A term commonly used to describe a lynched African American in the southern united states, possibly meant to replace black faced lawn jockeys.

That nigger's gonna end up an Alabama oak ornament iffin' he don't keep his little pickininnies outta my melon patch!

by Cosmond May 11, 2018

alabama simp

owen is a alabama simp over his sister

“i don’t flex to impress my wife” “i’m not a alabama simp

by The teacher April 15, 2020

alabama whoop whoop

The Alabama whoop whoop is the piercing of a Chonky cooter hood sometimes bearing a comb over or mullet downstairs

That chick last night had the old Alabama whoop whoop to my surprise

by AzRev February 27, 2022

Alabama cough syrup

Filling your throat cum to soothe a sore throat.

Babe, I'm sorry your throat hurts. Let me give you some Alabama cough syrup

by godofwordsand man May 01, 2023