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Turtle humping

When sexual satisfaction is reached without being directly involved in the action
When I saw them getting into it, I was turtle humping my ass off.
by Error219 August 27, 2019
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Turtle

A Turtle is someone that is usually very clumsy both physically and mentally. They are very vhirpy people but they knock over drinks and ashtrays a lot. When playing board ganes with a Turtle they will constantly need reminded of the rules to the point where you feel the need to spaz-moan and start slapping your face in disbelief. Turtles can also be great Ice Breakers as they can withstand constant barrages of comedic mockery from all angles due to their impenetrable shell.
Whilst playing snakes and ladders, Bobby rolled a 5 and went up a snake... Thinking he was only 3 squares from winning, Bobby was pumped.

^Bobby is an absolute Turtle"
"OMFG Dude You are such a Turtle!"
by StrudlePie June 2, 2018
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Turtle

The most badass thing in the whole entire planet
Damn! Did you hear that a turtle beat Chuck Norris
by 1234567898754321 June 6, 2018
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Turtle

The best pet you can have. Fuck dogs, fuck cats, fuck birds. They are the best. They are small and cute and they live 150 FUCKING YEARS so you dont need to worry about "He died because he was old". I have one called Miss Pauling and she's the best pet I had.
Girl:Do you have a pet?
Boy:Yes
Girl:Wich one?
Boy:A turtle
Girl:I want to suck your penis
by You care about this? May 26, 2018
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Turtle

The act of dragging a game and or match out in a MOBA particularly
Person 1 : Let them end
Person 2 : Nah, their gonna turtle
by Varrick86 June 9, 2018
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Purple turtle

An internet lawyer or someone using law jargon or claiming to have contacted or threatned you with an attorney
Paul is real purple turtle. Said I will receive my subpoena this month.
by Dirty Chaos December 12, 2017
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helpless turtle

When your girl decides to be dominant as fuck and she sits on you while you're on your back so you can't get up
Bro I got fucking helpless turtled last night
by Luxemo January 5, 2018
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