No Mates

Have no friends, and being beaten up because your a loner.

Look at Allen he is a No Mates.

by Current Events CELUE February 27, 2009

GAYJOHN NO MATES

A socially inept person who finds it hard to make friends due to his lack of interesting conversation. Favourite topics for a gayjohn no mates are ms-dos, economic trends and boys. He may become useful as an antidote to insomnia.

"Oi lads, check out that fit blond!"

"Don't be crude...now, come look at this!! I just downloaded the complete ftse 100 for my new apple mac! It only takes up 50megabytes of ram on my hard drive AND it comes free with a daniel craig screensaver! I love it when he comes out the water!"

"(YAWN!!) You're such a gayjohn no mates! NOW FUCK OFF AND GET SOME MATES!!!"

by Martin Slut January 13, 2008

Billy Faux Mates

Someone who drops meetings with real friends, by claiming to have arrangements with people no-one has ever met.

Dude he says he can't meet us tonight - he has to meet some friends from work. As if, he's such a Billy Faux Mates!

by swellyeah December 1, 2009

Matteus

Matteus is an amazing transgender person that likes it rough, very huge knob that like its way into a hairy ass aswell

Oh shit Matteus is standing over there! He’s probably watching your hairy ass out.

by GoodGuy2001 November 22, 2021

matesturbate

1) the act of masturbating over a friend's house 2) the act of masturbating while friends are over your house (known as stealth matesturbation)

"Yo guys while you were all out buying beer I matesturbated over your new lounge!"

by B0 Ch1zw1t July 27, 2005

mateshit

all your flat mate's belongings, strewn around the floor.

Guy 1: nice place you got here

Guy 2: yeah, if you look pat all the mateshit all over the floor

by bennnyyyyyy January 23, 2009

Flat Mates

(Noun) Friends that aren't so well endowed/have small breasts, relatively female.

I'm just hanging out with my flat mates

by Syde Trak August 15, 2011