His name is Mateus
by I.Molest.Children.With.Rae.Pis March 19, 2019
God's real name, or more accurately, the name of the real God. Mateus accidently created the Universe and humanity during his campaign against The Zombies. This is regarded by many as his greatest mistake. Currently resembles a cynical, annoying 16 year old in the U.S.
Mateus: "I'm sick of everyone worshiping that Jesus guy - my name's Mateus damn it. I'm bored - anyone know where I could find a good hooker?"
by Ninja13 February 23, 2008
A magical jew fairy who does some trippy shit. Likes to frequently troll. It is unknown to the world but Mateus is the biggest skux of all time.
"Oh hey Mateus, hows it going?"
"Pretty average, only scored about 300 CHICKS!...................
LAST NIGHT!"
"Pretty average, only scored about 300 CHICKS!...................
LAST NIGHT!"
by aceboy27 June 12, 2011
by wait.for.it June 24, 2017
A really hot person that anyone will love. If you where there friend never let go of them or your life will fall apart.if u are his girlfriend or wife them you are on of the luckiest person on earth. He might sometimes think you like someone else but he would still love you.he is caring and if someone try’s to hurt you he will protect you.
by _xlolx_ February 14, 2020
A Mateus is a animal commonly found in big dumpsters with shit and expired milk in it. A Mateuses normal traits are sucking dick and fucking men in the ass. When you see a Mateus you should run away and say, “go fuck yourself,” it makes them literally fuck themselves in the ass while you escape.
O shit, that’s a big Mateus, we better run, “go fuck yourself,”.
Eww there’s a Mateus in this dumpster with shit in it.
Eww there’s a Mateus in this dumpster with shit in it.
by Jorrrrrrr May 15, 2018