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Jim Gaffigan

"...my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John."
-Jim Gaffigan
by aaargh i am not a pirate April 23, 2011
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petting a giraffe

having sexual relations with a guy who has a large penis. usually refers to a handjob.
girl... i was in the movie theatre last night with Kemper... after two minutes of kissing i found myself petting a giraffe!! that boy is packing!!
by Samuel Zipdisk May 4, 2006
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Related Words

Giraffe

When a girl is getting fucked from behind doggy style and sucking another guys dick. The front guy has a girl in his shoulders who he is eating out. The girl being eaten out is sucking the dick of a man on a ladder who's dick acts like the leaves of a tree. The shape of all the people looks like a giraffe
Noah: did you hear about the giraffe party

Thomas: oh yeah I'm gonna be the tree
Noah: I'm gonna be the neck

Thomas': ah man that's the best part
by Sexy nuts May 17, 2016
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Rowdy Giraffe

A sexual act in which a male penetrates an extremely large female from behind. To complete the act, he must lift his legs off the ground, using only the giraffe-sized female's body to support his weight. This will cause the female to become very rowdy, and likely will cause her to start running.

To qualify as a giraffe, the female must be at least 5 ft 10 in tall and taller than the man. The only exception is if the man is a midget. If he is a midget, she must only be 1 ft taller than him regardless of his height.

Disclaimer: Do not try this at home unless under the supervision of trained professionals such as Gary Coleman (ouch).
The song "Fifteen" is actually about an occasion during Taylor Swift's freshman year in high school in which she was "tamed" with the Rowdy Giraffe maneuver after a boy said he loved her and that it wouldn't hurt.
by Two Eskimo Brothers August 13, 2010
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Gaffneyed

When an opponent picks up a fantasy free agent strictly for fill in purposes out of utter desperation and that player subsequently goes for a career day to cement an unholy victory (and league championship) over a more deserving opponent.

(Named after Jabar Gaffney, for his week 17 performance for the Denver Broncos in 2009 when he went for 14 catches and 214 yards)
I got so fucking Gaffneyed by Rory when he picked up David Clowney as a bye week fill in and he had 8 catches and 2 TDs.
by CBFFL February 12, 2010
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Gaffet

a loser usually at the age of 40-50 who spends there time going on the internet to talk to 12-18 year olds. A gaffet is usually a racist troll who wants no better than seeing other people rage. no matter how many chances u can give a gaffet, he/she will never change.
no matter how many times i tell this gaffet named tonshaad/deadman to stop trolling, he still spends his time doing it.
by abs=gaffet April 14, 2011
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green giraffe

A baby green shit that is at least 8 inches long.
Marco found a green giraffe on his rug, laid there delicately by Lawrence.
by Joris Van Irvine March 4, 2014
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