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urkel glasses

Glasses defined as having at a minimum 1" thick glass, large dimension lenses treated with duralumin, which is accompanied by eyeglass cord made from leftover weave

Eyeglasses that fit the description but are not coated in duralumin do not qualify as "Urkel Glasses" as they will not reflect any semen back at the original shooter

"Urkel Glasses" were originally designed to protect oneself from a being shot in the eyes with semen. Many people prior to 1989 needed to have their eyes removed after many an unplanned ejaculatory mess.

To date, 3,742,635,864 eyes have been saved by "Urkel Glasses"
Jim - "Let me know when you're gonna blow your load"
Lou - "...OK...here I come"
Jim - "WAIT, I need my Urkel Glasses!!!!"
Lou - "There's no time for that!"
Jim - "OWWW MY EYES!!!"
Lou - "Oh well, guess you should have put on your Urkel Glasses"
by Captain Cosby Sweater March 7, 2014
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fast glasses

When the glasses make you feel like you are always at a high speed.
“Bro these are some fast glasses!”
What do you mean fast?”
“Like I’m moving at unpaceable rate.”
by Datboichargin March 22, 2019
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Liberal Glasses

In the 2020s, the type of eyewear that contributes to the overall appearance of the white liberal stereotype.

These glasses are bold, thick, geometric, and sometimes multicolor. If a single color, they are either black, dark brown, or a primary color. On may examples, the frames will be a different color than the nose and ear pieces.

Some of the best examples are worn by the following:
Kate Brown, Gigi Sohn, Colbert, Oprah, Rosa DeLauro, Rachel Maddow, Tina Kotek, etc., with Kate Brown's pair being the ultimate archetype.

This type of eyewear is usually seen combined with one or more of the following: A Patagonia puffy jacket, scarf/shawl, tote bag, insulated beverage container, Prius, Tesla, or Outback.
Gigi Sohn's liberal glasses sported during her FCC hearings at the capitol really made her look like a Dr. Seuss character.
by J--tizzle March 7, 2023
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glasses

Bob: I got new glasses!
Tom: You got smart?!
by Magik November 26, 2004
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fake glasses

Glasses in which are used for decoration purposes only, not for eye sight.
Those fake glasses that actor is wearing describe the character.
by Cookiesareforever101 May 21, 2016
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Rose tinted glasses

Let me take off my rose tinted glasses.
by It go the go to sktd just e hm December 23, 2019
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scemo glasses

Definition 1: Black, thick rimmed, plastic framed glasses. They can be pretty pricey. You don't <i>always</i> see them on scenesters, but if you want to find them, that's where they'll be.
Definition 2: Huge sunglasses that used to look good on Victoria Beckham, and that a lot of scenesters have adopted.
Some scenester wearing scemo glasses: Hey, I like your glasses, are you emo too?
Me: Ahem. No. And neither are you.
by YouThinkICare? June 14, 2006
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