Bert Kreischer sit-ups 

A highly competitive exercise competition requiring each participant to insert a well lubricated prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) into the anus prior to performing maximum effort sit-ups. The goal is to perform the maximum amount of repetitions each round prior to the prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) fully dislodging from the body. A winner will be determined following ten rounds of continuous play with no more than a one minute break in between rounds.

those last few rounds of Bert Kreischer sit-ups was a gut check!

Bert Kreischer sit-ups by Mr SlapNTickle March 20, 2023

Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions 

The probability of a finance manager forgetting to collect the down payment that is directly proportional to the size of the down payment and inversely proportional to the memory capacity of the involved manager.

I saw the finance manager running after a customer realizing that Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions had taken place.

Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions by K9 _Cop May 22, 2024

Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions 

The probability of a finance manager forgetting to collect the down payment that is directly proportional to the size of the down payment and inversely proportional to the memory capacity of the involved manager.

I saw the finance manager running after a customer realizing that Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions had taken place.

Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions by K9 _Cop May 22, 2024

Lil uzi Bert 

Lil uzi Bert is a nickname for any male called Bert. This male is usually tall with sheep like hair. Lil uzi Bert’s always own a jack russel named ben and a raccoon named jerry. Lil uzi berts always think there tough because they do MMA. You will know your near one if you hear what sounds like a velociraptor.

Jim : that guy is a bit different isn’t he

Sheridan : ye he’s a real Lil Uzi Bert

Lil uzi Bert by Hello There 66 March 1, 2019

Pulling a Bert 

1. Innocently doing something incredibly painful in a funny way. 2. Doing something outrageously extraordinary with simple things.

Pulling a Bert is riding a bicycle down a hill thru a stack of burning hay bales for charity.

When one slips off a roof while roofing and somehow manages to stop the fall by accidentally nailing one's hand to the roof you are Pulling a Bert.

Only one who is capable of Pulling a Bert would consider Walk UPSIDE DOWN along a suspended beam by repeated sequential lacing and unlacing of combat boots that are nailed along the underside of the beam.

A friend of mine pulled a Bert, he was in a hurry while building a house and nailed his foot to the floor while installing the hardwood floor.

In an effort to surprise a recently found friend one could Pull a Bert by hiding in the overhead bin of airplane and popping out to surprise passengers.

One way to Pull a Bert is to jump of out a second story window with nothing but an umbrella.

I'm going to pull a bert and hand people a beer from INSIDE the fridge.
Our contractor pulled a bert when he cut a hole in a 2nd story floor to install a spiral staircase, while standing in the center of the circle he was cutting.

Pulling a Bert by Thomas Aquarius February 9, 2010

Q*bert

1.(noun)an arcade game from the 1980s, in which the hero, Q*bert changes blocks color by jumping on them, while avoiding ridiculous enemies including a slinky like snake, and random blobs of mysterious goo. If hit by his enemies Q*bert expresses an incomprehensible barrage of profanity. The game is kablastafuck -ing amazing, and no one in the entire world can seem to understand why.

2.(adjective) Ridiculously ridiculous

3.(noun) An incomprehensible swear word (see zebra bastard zebra zebra zebra zebra fucker

ex.1
80s kid 1:What the F@#% is Q*bert?
80s kid 2: i dont know but its fun!!!
80s kid 1: holy crap, did that orange round guy just swear?

ex 2.
That was so F-ing Q*bert i think i crapped my self laughing

ex 3.
Kid 1: I can believe someone defined (zebra bastard zebra zebra zebra zebra fucker)
Kid 2: i cant believe it was said in buffy the vampire slayer...
Kid 1: What the Q*bert was that episode about that they could get away with that one...
Kid 2:i just dont know... i just dont know...

...FIN...

Q*bert by Mr. Lyon calls me Rye Dog July 8, 2005

Big BERT 

Loves to hook up on the couch of his mates. Always misses penalties, Loves blondes, Cronulla Sharks and Wanderers. Loves to simp and ditch his footy teams. Characteristics of girl must be blonde, play netball, must live in *whoop whoop* and deny loving the Big BERT 24/7. Must play for a shit soccer club, soft ribs, small cock but she loves it anyway.

James: What is Big BERT up to?
Ethan: He's getting a cheeky root on your couch.
James: The sharks get him in a mood innit.
Ethan: I think it's the blondie that he's with actually.

Big BERT by King Kolamc May 30, 2021