ASHTRAY BEARD

The modern normie / npc lazy style for men of a wide age range from late 20's to senior age.
This look is post circa 2000 but had some similar types prior but is more
common now, actually quite prolific.

The name describes pretty much everything, a collector of filth on a man's chin -

the unkempt look extends to the whole persona but is currently socially
acceptable.

Has a generally unhealthy life, repetetive, posturing, feeling of a constant
hang over , smells like stale smoke in the back of a wet sedan.
This type will be always drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, vaping, gaming, doing lottery
has cocaine addiction because of his club days out of high school and never found
traction in a career is just schlepping with the 10 hour shifts for someone else
in a reflective vest.
The staple hobby of the Ashtray Beard is being a locked in die hard sports-fan of course.
This type can be married or single. If married has a very loud obnoxious wife who
one ups him in constant barrage of insults and always whoring around.
Usually drives a Dodge Ram truck but that is irrelevant.

Any vehicle that is owned by the bank is his ride and he's proud
to tell you that you need to go buy a new truck like him
since he thought the guy at the dealership was being his
friend when he told him to tell others about the

no money down prime rate for the 2026 Truck.

Ashtray Beard cried when a 2010 Ford Escape passed him on the highway.

by OATSTAO November 15, 2025

splitting the beard

When a female parts her vaginal lips either to piss or to have things inserted in her!

Tanya love splitting the beard when she went for a piss!!

by steven Dressel April 15, 2008

mark-dot-beard

Summary definintive noun that might be used to describe any person that is newly accquainted but at occasional odds when faced with the various complexities of personal computing, the internet and e-mail. Theoretically the sequence can be amended to suit any individual but should only be restricted to single syllable names for maximum impact. See also ned-dot-kelly..

Has that old fucker mark-dot-beard logged on to his e-mails yet?

I have sent him a verbal twatting that is sure to impress...and his new screensaver will surely cause more irritation than rampant pubic lice.

by The Poison Dwarf August 4, 2010

Heil's Beard

a type of moss, also known as horse-hair moss or old mans beard. If it is on a person it is your beard that grows insanely fast and connects with your chest hair.

Look at that guy he has a Heil's Beard!, look at that heil's beard growing on that tree!

by MiltownHSchool July 8, 2011

Blackjack's Beard

Arranging champagne and scenery for two people who seem to like each other.

Blackjack's Beard! Tom and Sarah are both serious!

by silverseal September 18, 2011

shucking the bearded clam

The act of inserting ones fingers into the hairy vaginal orrifice of a female. Usually two to three fingers are inserted, although, depending on females' orrifice diameter, more fingers may be necessary. Normally fingers are held in a hook style position and rammed in and out at a pace intended to pleasure said female and aid her in becoming moist.

Jim and Eric where discussing the activities of the previous night.

Jim: Dude, that party was crazy last night! I

Know you were totally wasted. I saw you

disappear with that chick at like 3am.

You hit that son?
Eric: Yea dude it was awesome, i took her in

back room and smashed it. She was

ready to go after I got done shucking the bearded clam.

Jim: That's what's up man! So the puss was

nice and hairy Huh?
Eric: It was hairy, but I was too far gone to give

A fuck. I just needed to drain my balls.

by FairladyZ February 4, 2015

Blumpkin: Red Beard of Courage

Doing a sitting 69 with a girl on her period while you're taking a dump.

Last night to celebrate our anniversary, my girlfriend and I did a Blumpkin: Red Beard of Courage in her parents bathroom.

by Chillosophy October 4, 2017