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Turtle

A "turtle" (ie TURD-le) is what you call someone who is a little turd (or little shit). It is used when you don't want them to know that that's what you actually think of them.
Turtles are usually young males who think they're better than everyone else, they often call themselves "alpha males" but they're actually not, they're little shits or turtles.
Often the fathers of turtles will excuse the poor behaviour of their sons by proudly saying "Oh don't mind him, he's just an Alpha male."
Josh? You're such a turtle!
by Turtle dominator! February 3, 2020
mugGet the Turtlemug.

Turtle

A marine animal that has a shell.
by turtleman14 September 13, 2022
mugGet the Turtlemug.

asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.
"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"
by MercWidaMouth November 14, 2010
mugGet the asphyxiated turtle headmug.

sea turtle ass

A large chunk of fat or skin that covers someone butt, comparable to a sea turtles shell.
by Pizzawithcheese5 September 12, 2021
mugGet the sea turtle assmug.

Turtle Recon

A sneaky, deliberate maneuver during kinky scat play where one partner temporarily retreats - usually waddling or clenching - to "scout the terrain" (i.e., make a quick, preemptive poop) before returning to the scene with renewed, devious purpose. It’s like a tactical dump before going full commando.
"She said she was into the mess, but wanted to do a Turtle Recon first to ‘lighten the load.’ Five minutes later, she came back grinning with wet wipes."
by Gropium June 10, 2025
mugGet the Turtle Reconmug.

turtle

the little shits that pollute the water and eat the straws. people then say its our fault cause we made the straws but its actually the turtle's fault they just need to get smart and stop being mean to the poor straws
yo i just force fed a turtle a straw
by minecraft_virgin69 August 6, 2020
mugGet the turtlemug.

Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.
Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.
by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019
mugGet the Pettin’ the Turtlemug.

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