by Aly n loz October 16, 2021

A crack turtle is someone whose mental capabilities have gone slow due to the excessive use of substances.
Jerry: "Oh man, I just needed two hours to take my morning dump and brush my teeth."
Tom: "You're such a fucking crack turtle, Jerry. You should consider throwing the pipe away."
Tom: "You're such a fucking crack turtle, Jerry. You should consider throwing the pipe away."
by thepranxter March 21, 2018

So you're a man having a big dump and you're turtle heading. It's at this point that you use the poo poking out of your ass to rub your g spot in your anus and climax that way. It will require strong glutes and anus control to do this like a pro but that is a turtle wank
by WolfofWankage July 28, 2020

Origins unknown though thought to be cosmic as they were worshiped by ancient cultures worldwide. Most noted characteristics were endurance, sneakiness and a witty approach while stalking prey. It is claimed that victims were scared shitless but with a puzzled grin on their faces. The Sneaky Turtle diet consisted primarily of prepared lettuce and what seems to have been an early form of taco.
by LizardLand October 21, 2020

by Error219 August 27, 2019

by thelegsonthebusgostepstepstep September 2, 2021
