A rare, underground-dwelling people believed to have originated after the legendary Jenovah Convention of 1934. Of the 3,500 attendees, 890 were known as the Sons of Jenovah, eyewitnesses to the miracles performed by Jenovah himself. Consumed by jealousy, they turned on their Father and slaughtered him.
In a brutal battle within the convention hall, the remaining 2,610 attendees rose up and defeated the Sons of Jenovah. Only 16 survivors emerged from the bloodshed. These survivors swore an oath of secrecy, vowing to live hidden underground and to abduct any surface-dwellers who dared speak of Jenovah again.
These Jenovah’s Witnesses have an unusually long lifespan of 320 years. Over generations, they split into 8 distinct clans, each with its own surname and customs. Due to centuries spent underground in isolation, their appearance has become... unsettling. Distorted by time, darkness, and perhaps guilt, they are widely considered to be shockingly hideous—described in some accounts as “fugly beyond mortal comprehension.”
Today, they remain a mysterious and feared presence, their story passed down in whispers, warnings, and the occasional missing-persons report.
In a brutal battle within the convention hall, the remaining 2,610 attendees rose up and defeated the Sons of Jenovah. Only 16 survivors emerged from the bloodshed. These survivors swore an oath of secrecy, vowing to live hidden underground and to abduct any surface-dwellers who dared speak of Jenovah again.
These Jenovah’s Witnesses have an unusually long lifespan of 320 years. Over generations, they split into 8 distinct clans, each with its own surname and customs. Due to centuries spent underground in isolation, their appearance has become... unsettling. Distorted by time, darkness, and perhaps guilt, they are widely considered to be shockingly hideous—described in some accounts as “fugly beyond mortal comprehension.”
Today, they remain a mysterious and feared presence, their story passed down in whispers, warnings, and the occasional missing-persons report.
by Brotein Powder Shake June 28, 2025
Get the Jenovahs Witness mug.When one has befouled a public washroom to such an extent that they will go to any lengths to NOT be found out as the culprit.
As demonstrated by Lukas Haas in the 1985 Harrison Ford film 'Witness'. Wherein, Haas hides from a suspicious Danny Glover in a public washroom.
As demonstrated by Lukas Haas in the 1985 Harrison Ford film 'Witness'. Wherein, Haas hides from a suspicious Danny Glover in a public washroom.
I walked into the bathroom at work less than two minutes after Jamie and the stench was unimaginable. I looked to the stalls to see if his shoes were present, but he was totally trying to pull a Witness - trying not to get caught fumigating.
by EvilBiscuit September 4, 2013
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One who lives by the bro code, and persistently shoves the bro code down people's throats, mainly his/her close friends. Eventually crosses the line of douchebaggery.
One friend was concerned about the other about losing him to his girlfriend. Not expressing much tactfulness, he dropped the phrase "bros before hoes."
The following status was found on said friend's Facebook timeline:
"I respect those who look out for me, but when you shove the bro code down my fucking throat like you're a gebrovah's witness, that's past where I draw the line. "Bros before hoes..." kindly eat a bag of dicks."
The following status was found on said friend's Facebook timeline:
"I respect those who look out for me, but when you shove the bro code down my fucking throat like you're a gebrovah's witness, that's past where I draw the line. "Bros before hoes..." kindly eat a bag of dicks."
by PyGuy March 13, 2014
Get the gebrovah's witness mug.one who has recently became a vegetarian or vegan, that proselytizes to everyone else how their diet is wrong
by fred987 December 11, 2020
Get the Vegovah's witness mug.While spooning it keeps getting hard even though it is not the intention, ie. before insertion or after.
Damn, we have The jehovah witness and he’s knockin at the front door again!
Looks like The jehovah witness is at the back door. Well I hope it goes away!
Looks like The jehovah witness is at the back door. Well I hope it goes away!
by Krispy squirrel 1802 August 31, 2023
Get the The jehovah witness mug.noun: person: A Jerk-off Jehova Witness is somebody who only texts or calls you when he's jerking off, and doesn't ever want to actually meet. He is annoying and comes a-knocking at the times that are convenient only to them.
Mike only ever calls me when he's jerking off. I offer to make plans so we can both get off, but something always comes up. He's such a jerk-off jehova. aka. a Jerk-Off Jehova Witness
by R. Tizz-E April 9, 2024
Get the A Jerk-Off Jehova Witness mug.Lisa: „I heard Noah and your boyfriend went to the club last weekend?“
Zoe: „Yes, but Noah said Clemens behaved well and did not talk to any girl at all“
Lisa: „Ok, but can you trust Noah. I think he is a one eye witness.“
Zoe: „You’re right, he’s not trustworthy at all!“
Zoe: „Yes, but Noah said Clemens behaved well and did not talk to any girl at all“
Lisa: „Ok, but can you trust Noah. I think he is a one eye witness.“
Zoe: „You’re right, he’s not trustworthy at all!“
by Samsa559 July 9, 2025
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