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smuff

the mixed semen and saliva bridge spanning the gap between the upper and lower lips of a person who just performed oral sex
"Can I get a kiss now?"
"Nope, get out of here with that smuff mouth."
by Dash Carl September 25, 2011
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Sheffield Wednesday

..... Wendy / Wednesday Bastards / Pigs / Scum (whichever takes your fancy at the time). A poor football team and the laughing stock of Sheffield; spending the last 9 years in the shadow of Sheffield United. Pigs play at a large but crumby ground on the outskirts of Sheffield city centre (Hillsborough).

Pigs, in any response to someone who makes fun of their "MASSIVE" club, will try to come back with information about the glory days of wendy. Constantly rewinding to the 90's, when their club reached 3rd in the first tier of English football. What they won't tell you, is that they were relegated in 2000, and that they have never finished above United in the league since then. If you ever have the misfortune to visit the Pigs’ ground on a match day, you'll find it’s half empty. This is the result of most people avoiding the embarrassment of being seen there.

In the season just gone (08/09), pigs managed to pull the double over United. Apparently, this maintains their status as a “MASSIVE” club. Even though they failed to reach the championship play-offs (finishing 12th), which united did (finishing 3rd), pigs still maintain their deluded mind-set that they are “Yorkshires best club”, a title which in actual fact, is currently held by hull (sheffield united being 2nd).

Here’s how to distinguish a wednesday bastard from a united fan. You may see a mentally impaired person, wearing a pigs shirt, lingering outside a farm. This is a prime example of a wendy fan. Just open the gate and let them scurry on back in there. Alternatively, you might see a person looking at the league table and smiling. This would be a united fan, who is clearly enjoying the fact that pigs still can’t compete to the same level as united. Generally, Scum can be spotted in a museum (squeezing every last drop out of their long since gone success), in small numbers at Hillsborough or in a barn yard. Blades can be spotted at beautiful downtown bramall lane enjoying life as fans of the bigger club in Sheffield, and looking FORWARD to the likelihood of promotion.
Blade 1: Wanna hear a joke?
Blade 2: Go on then
Blade 1: Sheffield Wednesday!!
All The Blades: Wheyyyyy Lets all laugh at Wednesday!!

Pig: our club is MASSIVE and will always be better than united
Blade: …name me one season in the last 9 years when you finished above us in the table
Pig: errrm urrrm…
Blade: Jog on you deluded little pig; we're all blades aren't we?
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Related Words
smeff smeffin smeffy smuff smeef STeFF Smiff smelfie Steffan sheffield

Skeffer

You stupid skeffer
by sylvia May 17, 2004
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sfeff

-my dad felt down stairs... and it was kinda funny
-oh sorry... but sfeff
by arodazi April 4, 2007
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Smuffling

To encase, or otherwise stuff ones penis and scrotum, a.k.a. junk, into a very tight pair of leather pants. Smuffling is expanded to mean any rough tucking or handling, by oneself or others, of said junk, ranging from mild smuffling to extreme, drag queen smuffling (may or may not involve surgical staples).

Smuffling is also extremely useful when attempting to defecate upon your own chest.
"I tried to shit on my own chest, but my balls get in the way. I might have to do some smuffling to do it."
by Miss Courtney January 7, 2009
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Smeaf

Unable to smell, lack of the sense of smell.
When Bill asked Hillory to speak, her breath was so horrible that he prayed he could be smeaf until she was finished.
by Vessec January 2, 2009
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Smelf

Oh damn that's a real smelf.
by nOT TINKI September 18, 2017
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