To Masturbate

An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.

(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)

"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"

by luriski January 14, 2021

masturbate

All the slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Beat the meat, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.

Vote for the clit commander. and the clit will live on

by The clit commander March 12, 2005

Maskurbate

When a man inserts his penis into the mouth part of a mask to imitate a female performing fellatio.

Feeling alone and desperate, Mike found his old Phantom of the Opera costume and decided to maskurbate.

by StealsyourstereO January 2, 2006

masturbate

A form of sexual pleasure that people perform when they can't get enough sex. Some people do it several times a day. Others do it weekly or maybe even monthly.

Man, I can't get enough sex, I think I'll go masturbate.
Dude, I'm bored, I'm gonna go masturbate.

by J_man May 20, 2008

masturbate

1. Masturbate for male: When a postpubecent male reveals his dick, it gets hard because he is horny and he starts to move his hand(s) up and down on it until he cums. Also know as jerking off or jacking off

2. Masturbate for female: When a woman puts her fingers or an object into her pussy and goes in and out until she has an orgasm. Also known as fingering

3. A way of sexually pleasuring oneself.

1. guy 1: I jacked off last night to your girlfriend's picture
guy 2: dude, thats sick

2. girl: I masturbated last night thinking about you.
guy: thats hot

by AndyMac754 November 14, 2007

masturbate

v.(proper) to self stimulate ones sexual genitalia v.(slang) go fuck yourself

When you get stuck for the tab in a nice resterant it is more polite to tell the cheapskate to masterbate and hope they understand the true intent behind the word rather than be blunt.

by Preston January 4, 2004

Masturbathe

To pleasure oneself sexually whilst washing or immersing one's body in water.

Friend 1: Andi hasn't left her room in days.
Friend 2: Yeah she's been really upset since she and Rodney broke up.
Friend 1: What she needs is to brew some herbal tea, run a warm bath, and masturbathe in it.
Friend 2: True. It'll improve her miserable mood as well as her poor hygiene.

by Diggles July 30, 2013