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swedish crumpet

a swedish crumpet is when you fart on someone’s food and then make them eat it. similar to a dutch oven, but replace the face with their food. often performed as a revenge ritual against a friend that wronged you, this move is taken stealthily in secret but there’s no doubt the enemy won’t notice the difference as soon as they chow down.

term coined by gizem bektas DJ and journalist.
A: Oh My God, Felix pulled a swedish crumpet on my ikea meatballs yesterday.
B: No way… was the aroma pungent? I haven’t done one of those in years.
A: It lit my taste buds and nose on fire..
by gizemtheDJ January 8, 2025
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Humpin' the crumpet

1. Light-hearted joking
2. Lube-less anal sex
Closest synonym: joshin'
Don't get offended, bro. I was just humpin' the crumpet.

I didn't mean to kill your mom - I was humpin' her crumpet and my dick stabbed all the way through.
by thescholar(i read dostoyevsky) December 16, 2018
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Buttering the Crumpets

When you cum while pooping at the same time and the cum is spread on the poop before it hits the water. The penis may also be used as a buttering knife.
Yo' Derek what are you going to do later?
Probably just go home, drink a few beers, and try to butter the crumpets again.
What? Yo, buttering the crumpets is easier when you don't drink.
by poopbutter August 21, 2013
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Strumpet Crumpet

Strumpet Crumpet A hottie and great in bed
That Strumpet Crumpet is hot and sexy
by VileGay September 20, 2023
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porn crumpet

Originates from the band name Psychedelic Porn Crumpets. There are two likely definitions:

(a) Describes a pornographic or sexy crumpet; a crumpet that looks very appetizing
(b) A porn star. Crumpet referring to a sexy person (usually a woman)
(a) Hey Jerry can you pass me that porn crumpet?
(b) Mate, is that the porn crumpet from "Revenge of the Tentacles 3"?
by ssflss January 10, 2023
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Crumpet ring

"Mate, your sister's anal gaping pics are immense. "

"Yeah, she's been using that crumpet ring she got for Christmas off dad."
by lemlemlem May 11, 2018
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Crumpet fucker

A slurr to use against the British
by Jack sparky October 21, 2023
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