Buttering the Crumpets

When you cum while pooping at the same time and the cum is spread on the poop before it hits the water. The penis may also be used as a buttering knife.

Yo' Derek what are you going to do later?
Probably just go home, drink a few beers, and try to butter the crumpets again.
What? Yo, buttering the crumpets is easier when you don't drink.

by poopbutter August 21, 2013

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Humpin' the crumpet

1. Light-hearted joking
2. Lube-less anal sex
Closest synonym: joshin'

Don't get offended, bro. I was just humpin' the crumpet.

I didn't mean to kill your mom - I was humpin' her crumpet and my dick stabbed all the way through.

by thescholar(i read dostoyevsky) December 16, 2018

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penis crumpet

Penis Crumpet:
When one ejaculates from their erect penis so hard, it shrivels and flattens. This will only occur when overstimulation takes place, after many orgasms.

“I came so hard, now I have a penis crumpet”
“Maybe you should go to a doctor, Jim.”

by Dr. Digbick September 29, 2018

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Originates from the band name Psychedelic Porn Crumpets. There are two likely definitions:

(a) Describes a pornographic or sexy crumpet; a crumpet that looks very appetizing
(b) A porn star. Crumpet referring to a sexy person (usually a woman)

(a) Hey Jerry can you pass me that porn crumpet?
(b) Mate, is that the porn crumpet from "Revenge of the Tentacles 3"?

by ssflss January 10, 2023

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