Wanking off a Smurf

When people have blue hands which have been dyed with ink, paint etc they are said to have wanked off a smurf.

Why are your hands blue? Have you been wanking off a smurf or something?

by thanksthatsastupidsuggestion March 7, 2021

Pokey bum wank

To insert ones finger in and out of the anus whilst masterbating ones penis with the other hand (speed and deph of finger is upto pbw,sters preference)

Tom:have you heard about something called a pokey bum wank its all the rage ooop north any idea what it involves
Rich: yes its the act of slipping a appendage or inanimate object up ones anus whilst wanking the penis with the other hand

I was doing a prison sentence a normal wank just wasnt doing it for me after 6 months of repetitive standard wanking so I was looking to spice things upby using a finger or 2 after 3 months fingers became boring so I started a long trawl of finding inanimate objects to insert and rating them out of ten is my final ambition to write up a pbw guide of best objects to use for a pbw with a ratings scale of shitty fingers so electric toothbrush 9 and a half shitty fingers out of ten

by Jack Mehoff jizz mater general November 20, 2016

wank n shank

When you shank someone right after you rape them. Commonly used in prison situations.

Inmate 1: Did you hear about inmate 3?
Inmate 2: No, what happened?
Inmate 1: He attempted to do the ol' wank n shank

by that_one_guy1 June 2, 2016

Window wank of faith

The act of jerking off outside a window whilst crying as the person commiting the act has come to terms with the fact that they are a pathetic welp of person who looks up vaguely sexual terms on Urban Dictionary to get a hard on, only to quickly be struck with the epiphany that they are wasting the precious life they have been endowed with, and the person you could have been has been burnt into nothingness by your abhorrent choices in life, and you are just the abysmal shell of what could have been a potentially good human being.

my name jeff

also, stop looking up shit like window wank of faith and do something productive for once you cognitively inept mongrel.

by GetPrankedFaggo April 3, 2017

Houdini bag wank

When one places themselves in a hold-all, zips it up and secures with a padlock. Once secured in the bag, you wank yourself into oblivion and finally try to escape.

Sorry I’m late for work boss, I decided to try a Houdini bag wank this morning.

by Jim’ll fist it February 11, 2023

yank my wank

To masturbate

1. You almost done?
2. Yeah, but first i gotta yank my wank

by Golf swinger on the daily December 15, 2016

International Wank Day

The day of December 1st, following the month of No Nut November, where every male is encouraged to masturbate, to relieve the testicular tension of the previous month.

Person 1: Bro can you come to the game tomorrow.
Person 2: Nah sorry bro it’s International Wank Day.
Person 1: Damn bro why didn’t you remind me?

by Bongonog November 11, 2019