Skip to main content

spanking the monkey

like the hottest thing in the world. seriously. (aka masturbating)
Lizzy and nona and kelly looove spanking the monkey. but not as much as Kari! hahaha
by secksiLNKK February 15, 2006
mugGet the spanking the monkey mug.

the monkey

The monkey is a primate, which means that it is like a person except smaller, dumber, louder, hairier, and it (in most cases) lives in trees and has a tail. Monkeys are sometimes food for the chimp, a superior animal which enjoys war, fornication, the use of primitive tools, and hooting.

"Monkey" can also be used more broadly in the sense of "ape-like creature" or to refer to a person who resembles such a creature, such as a troglodyte. This is generally an insult (rarely, referring to a silly clownish person, it is not as harsh). In any case, the monkey generally enjoys the following:
-stealing things, especially food
-hurling excrement at people (see also politician)
-comic mischief in general
-cocaine
-hooting
That monkey stole half my bananas! Yesterday he stole half my melons! The day before, he had his tribe launch a volley of monkeyshit at my customers! I'll get that damn monkey!

A KKK rally is just a bunch of drunken monkeys.

Look, the monkey is making a speech again on TV! He's not very good with English, but maybe he could learn sign language like that gorilla everybody loved.
by jazzriff October 29, 2005
mugGet the the monkey mug.

punch the monkey

To click on a banner ad, in particular one that might load spyware/malware on your computer.
Idiot: My computer is full of popups and viruses.
Tech: Antivirus can't catch everything. Back off the sketchy porn sites, and don't punch the monkey.
by schflyatz March 28, 2010
mugGet the punch the monkey mug.

the monkey's his uncle moment

When someone explains a family related event with a lot of excitement but the other person doesnt really get the complicated family relations. who was the auntie, uncle cousin,nephew etc etc??

a phrase by timon in The Lion King when Timon fails to understand that simba has returned to challenge Scar.
sara: Im sorry which uncle was it? Thats alota family crap and im kinda in the monkey's his uncle moment.
by krystalize August 7, 2010
mugGet the the monkey's his uncle moment mug.

Tickling the monkey

scratching her bush like a gorilla, in order to make her aroused and soaking wet
Rhodri davies asked zoe curnow wether he could tickle her monkey
she said ' go for it big boy' whilst tickling the monkey for several seconds and unfortunatley he was more aroused than her and came prematurely after 10 seconds
by sarahburnettlovescock March 12, 2011
mugGet the Tickling the monkey mug.

slapped the monkey

Sexual intercourse. Sex. Sleeping together. Phrase sometimes used in the ghetto.
Guy 1: Dude I just slapped the monkey with Gina last night!
Guy 2: You mean you slept with her?
Guy 1: Yeah!
by Allie222 April 13, 2008
mugGet the slapped the monkey mug.

stay for the monkey

Staying through the end credits of a movie to see if there are any extra scenes. So named for the monkey seen at the end of Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.
Did you stay for the monkey after Iron Man? It was a good one!
by jlw_atl May 14, 2008
mugGet the stay for the monkey mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email