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Politicians

If you're a politician, you're either one of the following:
- An idiot. Idiots have no idea how a country works and pretend America is one big reality TV show.
- A liar. Liars promise a perfect world where everyone is happy, and a future that is impossible to live up to.
- Or a piece of shit. POS don't care about anything but money or publicity. They only work for a specific group of people and run the country into shit when they get office.

While most of these qualities are attributed to Republican politicians, Democrats are equally as shitty.
Most people in America don't get involved with politics because politicians running it screws them over one way or another.
by TheBagelPeople October 16, 2020
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Politician Poop

A dump where your colon, and subsequently, the majority of your toilet are full of shit like a politician. This bowel movement is the result of a fiber rich diet, and is noted by several productive pushes, an overuse of toilet paper, and the need to flush more than once to get rid of the mess.
"I'm sorry I'm late. I had to take a politician poop, and it took twenty minutes to flush it all down."
by King12401 July 31, 2022
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Politicians

You have staff, right? You have staff... who manage your affairs, your campaign, day-to-day activities, etc... Right? Sooo.... How are you not a retard who won a popularity contest? You sound like a retard. That’s what retards have. That’s what a retards life is like.... a waitress can do your job.... because your job is basically showing up where you’re told to show up... your job requirements are basically.... being able to read and write? And I need to work harder... to generate more money... for you... so you can work less.... I mean... you sit in a chair.... 80% of you are geriatric.... I should work harder though... that’s what should happen... so you can make more money... and you could say “But if you work harder you’ll make more money too” but... only one of us is doing the work... and I can turn on Cspan... and I can read the bills... and then (at that point) I’m basically doing your job... but for free... but I should work harder... so a literal retard can stop working in a last ditch effort to sponge up as much money as possible before they die... and who gets their money when they die (the money they took from everyone)... and who gets the money when they die? Fuck trophies... but it’s ok... generational wealth only lasts 3 generations... because the people at the top change.... because sometimes rich people only have daughters... and all of the names change... And that means I should work harder? Huh..... Ok.....
Hym “Sooo.... Politicians.... you said all of that.... and what I hear is that this is basically group-home world.... I hate to break it to you but Orwell is already here. I mean... I’m being punished for wrong-think... actively. People have deluded themselves into believing it’s necessary to engage in a selective surveillance state campaign... Oh wait.... ✌️✊✌️No one can hear me✌️✊✌️ (except for the people who read it every day and reference it every day and the guy who un-ironically said this to me as though he didn’t read it and isn’t responding to it actively). Oh well 🤷 ♂️ I’ll just keep talking.“
by Hym Iam November 1, 2022
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Politicians part 2: Breaking Down

And people who are basically pseudo-politicians.

Hym “Any-who, where was I? Oh right, politicians are basically retards and we live in dystopia. Yeah, so... you got more people to work hard... how many of those people are ‘living lives of quiet desperation’ and how far past the first bottleneck did they make it? The next hierarchical bottleneck? One of them made a widget or a do-dad that ensures a retirement at a time of their choosing... their fuck trophies take the extra special fuck trophy path in life and don’t have to do the thing they expect me to do... and we haven’t found a better way, right? Let me ask you something.... If I found a better way, would you allow me to implement it? I mean, you won’t even let me take credit for the contents of my own mind. So no. I would have to kill you all. Just like my current situation.... you would need me to kill you all... and then you could say ‘See!? See!? Look how many people that system kills!!! Our thing was so much better because instead of violence we use subterfuge and emotional abuse (literal emotional abuse, ha!)!’ I don’t see how that doesn’t just make as the slave with one hundred masters... which is why YouTubers all sell ‘hard work.’ Work hard.... so you can afford to add a new master. You get to choose!
Politicians part 2: Breaking Down

It’s not real-slavery is you get to choice your master... and you have several... how many can you afford? Work harder so you can add a few more. Don’t share your Netflix password. That’s allowing people to avoid the slavery... Don’t watch the piracy of my movie... that I copy-and-pasted from urban dictionary.... buy my book... where I nitpick information from the books that I’ve read and/or sell my molested clients stories! Hey guys! Where was Christian God while that guys butthole was getting fucked? Where was he? Do you know? Do you have a guess? Something to muse on... I mean, if the creature was watching then it’s a pedophile.... You know that right? It’s likely that it exists outside of time and I’ve already killed it. Which is neat. But that means I can’t rewind time and fuck the whore instead of the retard (news guy... that’s not how time works).... Hmmm.... Hey! Maybe Nietzsche had a near death experience! I WILL probably end up talking to him after I kill the creature... 🤔 That would make sense. This was a long one. I’ll come back to it.”
by Hym Iam November 1, 2022
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politician

typical politician:

"read my lips, no new taxes" -George H W Bush 1988
his following presidency delivered new taxes.
by wazhapanin September 28, 2022
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politician

That dude mike is a straight politician 😏🙄
by Calm9 June 3, 2022
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politician

Mitch McConnell is the evilest man in the usa. He's like an adult sized Chucky, like every other politician.
by FuckYourTwoMoms December 10, 2021
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