The belief that a jewish Zombie who can make you live forever in paradise if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree... yeah, I can understand why that's the world's most popular religion
Why is it that there are people who believe in Christianity, who look down on Scientology? The two are just as plausible (not at all)
by imaeetufacof December 08, 2007
A person who believes a person named Jesus died because he claimed he was God, and supposedly came back to life by unexplained scientific means. Their religious text "The Bible" is divided into two parts, each one contradicts the other. They also share the first half of "The Bible" with the Jewish faith, however they disagree with most of it.
In some weird fashion, Christians identify their Deity (God) as three people in one, explained below.
Jesus- The son, God is somehow his child.
God- The father. Weird.
Ghost- The third part, which we really never hear about but plays a huge role in our "salvation".
Christians are usually identified by their social nature, their biblical teaching tells them to love on another and constantly spread the word of Christ (The Bible). Pretty much Christians are recognized because they are complete assholes, or pussies. Generally the kid who sits at lunch hall alone, and cries at break period. Be wary, if you associate with them they will probaby shove the word down your throat.
In some weird fashion, Christians identify their Deity (God) as three people in one, explained below.
Jesus- The son, God is somehow his child.
God- The father. Weird.
Ghost- The third part, which we really never hear about but plays a huge role in our "salvation".
Christians are usually identified by their social nature, their biblical teaching tells them to love on another and constantly spread the word of Christ (The Bible). Pretty much Christians are recognized because they are complete assholes, or pussies. Generally the kid who sits at lunch hall alone, and cries at break period. Be wary, if you associate with them they will probaby shove the word down your throat.
Christian: Hello, Good sir! I would like to share the word of Christ, who is also God and the Holy Ghost at the same time!
Person: .....What?
God: Jesus, I am your father's nephew's uncles brother's sister's brother's father's son.
Jesus: I know, for Christianity is the most clear text in the universe. I wrote it!
Parent: You must believe in Christ, or else we will disown you!
Child: But Mom.....!
Parents: Silence! You must be stoned to death for disobedience! (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)
Person: .....What?
God: Jesus, I am your father's nephew's uncles brother's sister's brother's father's son.
Jesus: I know, for Christianity is the most clear text in the universe. I wrote it!
Parent: You must believe in Christ, or else we will disown you!
Child: But Mom.....!
Parents: Silence! You must be stoned to death for disobedience! (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)
by Desperate Advisor October 31, 2010
Those who practice the religion Christianity.
Sometimes reffering to a name of a person.
They can be found anywhere. They are very easily recognized by seeing if they carry these traits.
Narrow minded, homophobic, sexist and often found believing in imaginary friends.
Common beliefs of a Christian.
- homosexuality is wrong.
- that an imaginary supreme being called god loves them.
Sometimes reffering to a name of a person.
They can be found anywhere. They are very easily recognized by seeing if they carry these traits.
Narrow minded, homophobic, sexist and often found believing in imaginary friends.
Common beliefs of a Christian.
- homosexuality is wrong.
- that an imaginary supreme being called god loves them.
by krnhsgw July 11, 2008
A person who believes that Christ is their Savior. Most are kind and polite, but some are complete snobs about it. The latter gets extremely offended when someone has a difference of opinion religiously, but still go around saying everybody else is wrong and that they are going to hell for not having faith. Especially aggressive towards Atheists.
Atheist: I don't believe in God.
Christian 1: I do. That's cool, though.
Christian 2: You're an atheist? FUCK YOU! You're going to hell! Christians have to rule the world!!!11 We should kill all Atheists!!!!1!!
Christian 1: I do. That's cool, though.
Christian 2: You're an atheist? FUCK YOU! You're going to hell! Christians have to rule the world!!!11 We should kill all Atheists!!!!1!!
by Daourei October 08, 2008
People who use a religion called "Christianity" to cover up one or more personal weaknesses/flaws. Christians are often associated with racism, homophobia, and child molestation.
by Bad_Religion March 31, 2005
The christians blocked all but a small portion of the street on sunday morning, meaning we had to drive an extra block and a half to get where we were going.
by anti-god34 December 15, 2010
A very nice and kind guy :), he’s funny and has a great, contagious smile. He seems to think very lowly of himself, but in reality, he’s awesome and has really great things ahead of him. He says he has a dark soul, but in reality his soul shines so bright, like a diamond. He is a very bad texter, but in real life it is very easy to talk to. Christian is a very comforting person, and he will be there for his friends when they need it.
Christian is not Christian.
by jesse.x0 November 30, 2019