Army dude : flamethrower ready sir!
King: excellent, burn the scum chav into ash!
Chav: no! don't! i lyk av 253434 children innit!! theyz av u cos thre well 'ard lyk bling bling stile!
King: excellent, burn the scum chav into ash!
Chav: no! don't! i lyk av 253434 children innit!! theyz av u cos thre well 'ard lyk bling bling stile!
by ahem... April 29, 2005
This breed of superhuman, sorry, i mean 'super-stupid-human' can be distinguishable by several features, including their inability to pronounce parts of each word, and their shirts that look like theyve all been scribbled on by some kid called 'Nickelson'. They come into your towns like a plague and seem to multiply...i cant think of anyone who would want to actually mate with them though, so have come to the conclusion that the fucktards see fuck-tard are breeding with themselves. Some, in fact, all breeding has turned out unexpectedly, leading to mutations and deformations of the face, personality, and the giant hoops that protrude from their ears. The gold that they wear yes...were all really convnced that you can afford gold jewellery yet are forced to shoplift toilet tissue from ASDA... is truly impressive...they are obviously kings among men...or chimps rather. But what i admire most is how versatile they are. They can adapt easily to the cold, tucking their trousers into their socks, further proving that people can be so dumb that they lose the ability to dress in the correct order...but overall chavs are great people - if ever an Aeroport Radar Tower fails, never fear! as long as theres a chav handy, the once Nauseaous angle at which their caps were placed can double up as a heavy duty radar tower or microwave transmitter - the vast amount of radiation from the microwave signals must explain their strikingly obvious lack of common sense and social image
The bext thing about a chav though is just how looking at one can make me laugh - having gone into my local cornerr shop and encountering about enoguh chavs to fill a bus i was on the floor...i cant but help my urge to laugh at these poor..meek little creatures in the struggle of speaking english.
Well, ive truly outdone myself as far as rambling goes, but for a breed this inferior and ...well..dumb, a surprising amount can be said.
The bext thing about a chav though is just how looking at one can make me laugh - having gone into my local cornerr shop and encountering about enoguh chavs to fill a bus i was on the floor...i cant but help my urge to laugh at these poor..meek little creatures in the struggle of speaking english.
Well, ive truly outdone myself as far as rambling goes, but for a breed this inferior and ...well..dumb, a surprising amount can be said.
'Awww mate! aiv pissd maself!! heh heh, look at dat! is all up your leg too! proper BO!'
'hah hah i stol dis hat from dat grandad over dere - how 'ard am i??'
next day - all chavs in sight show off their new fashionable flat caps, and tht means theres now a load of poor OAPs with nothing but bare, shiny heads.
oh god, its another hundred chavs..
'hah hah i stol dis hat from dat grandad over dere - how 'ard am i??'
next day - all chavs in sight show off their new fashionable flat caps, and tht means theres now a load of poor OAPs with nothing but bare, shiny heads.
oh god, its another hundred chavs..
by Party December 17, 2003
Easily recognisable by their Nike Shox trainers in absurd colours, football socks pulled up to the knees with Nike tracksuit bottoms tucked into them, a fake Rocksport jacket from off the market and a burberry cap off the back of a lorry ( also fake). You will also notice their funny walk as they are weighed down by the amount of fake jewelery purchased from the Argos catalogue. Older chavs are found not on the street corners, but on the roads in souped up Novas with their neon lights and floor scraping body kits which max out at 30mph! They have also been known to ride absurdly stupid mini motos. If you are aproached by a chav, do NOT back away. Advance quickly and shout random big words at him or them. With the weight of their jewelry dragging them down, its a simple case of loading your M-16 and blasting away.
by Web December 30, 2004
a chav is a person who is a complete twat and goes around terrorising people. the girls wear/look like : trackies, usually pregnant, soon to be pregnant, or already has a child/children. they wear tacky gold necklaces of a clown or doll. either that or "MASSIV" gold chains. the hands of a chavette are usually heavily adourned with gold rings or soverings which are absolute bollocks. the shoes chavettes like to wear are K Swiss, Lacoste, Fred Perry or some other bag of wank bollocks. The jackets they wear are either Berghaus, Helly Hansen or some other "designer" make. their faces are caked in make up to hide the uglyness and the hair is heavily straightened with the hottest straighteners you can get. possibly GHDs. the girls always accuse perfectly normal, cool people, such as grebs or emos, of "givin them evils". i get several people at school saying to me, "what u lookin at" or my personal favourite, "why wer u givin me evils in PE." OH MY FUCKING GOD. there is no rest. the boys wear trackies, thick woolly socks which their trackies are tucked into. they wear the same shoes and coats as the girls. also reebok, and adidas, nike and other sports shoes are worn. the boys will usually ask out girls who are lovely people, but not quite "a fit bird". i have had people ask me out before and it is so fake. it's pretty obvious these people have nothing better to do. the boys will leer at girls and call people such as emos, or alternatives, "slags". i am still trying to figure out why. the hangouts of these fucktards are mcdonalds, parks where they get adults or their older "rock hard" siblings to buy them some cheap cider which is consumed here. or bus shelters, street corners, long busy roads at night time. *trust me, i hate walking down my road in the evening*. urm i don't really know what else to say apart from they will spit on/at you if they see you on the street. and have no education. no decent family. will leave school with no or extremely poor GCSEs. wont/dont go to college/university. if they have a job it should be cleaning up horse muck. oh sweet, sweet revenge. chavs ARE the muck and constantly think about sex. they always want girls to get their tits/minge out on webcam and will shove you if they see you at school. they use the word "grog" which means, "to spit" and will pea shoot at you. if you do not know what pea shoot means, it is when a tube of some sort, usually what pens come in, have a piece of chewed up paper which has actually been in the chav's trampy, groggy, fillingd'up mouth. they spit the piece of paper at you. it CAN stick in your arm and this is extremely tramp. also beware, if you are in class, they may throw pieces of rubber/eraser at you. AVOID THESE WANKERS AT ALL COSTS. they terrorise the innocent, take drugs, get "E'd up" at weekends . the most common things chavs say are,
"what the fuck u lookin at"
"shes a right bird. look at them tits. ad easy shag that."
"ner marrt. she wudnt go anywer ner ya. ur way out 'er league"
"am i bollox"
"u go' a light?"
"save us 2's"
"save us 3's"
"can i shag ya"
"a shagged ya mam"
"ma mam is a rite slag"
"do u get E'd up at the weekend then"
"fuckin sweaty grebo" *SOOO ORIGINAL...*
"stupid emo go sit in a corner and slit ur wrists" *ORIGINAL AS FUCK....*
"ur a fuckin ugly RAT" *note the emphasis on rat*
well that's about it. oh and tons of chavs live on the nunny. shithole of grimsby (n)
"what the fuck u lookin at"
"shes a right bird. look at them tits. ad easy shag that."
"ner marrt. she wudnt go anywer ner ya. ur way out 'er league"
"am i bollox"
"u go' a light?"
"save us 2's"
"save us 3's"
"can i shag ya"
"a shagged ya mam"
"ma mam is a rite slag"
"do u get E'd up at the weekend then"
"fuckin sweaty grebo" *SOOO ORIGINAL...*
"stupid emo go sit in a corner and slit ur wrists" *ORIGINAL AS FUCK....*
"ur a fuckin ugly RAT" *note the emphasis on rat*
well that's about it. oh and tons of chavs live on the nunny. shithole of grimsby (n)
by Tashxorz April 06, 2008
A new form of vermin that is common in the U.K. Chavs wear loads of fake jewellry in a vain attempt to look wealthy or "gangsta" They also wear burberry baseball caps, branded clothes and tracksuits(even in the summer). They often spend time hanging around outside McDonalds, drinking crappy cider and saying stupid random things to passers by. They'e the main focus of my aggression at this point. Chav stands for "Council house affaliated vermin". Their language consists of words like "sick", and "innit blud" and "brruuup" and "bear pussy" and other such nonsense. Chavs should be gotten rid of and fast.
Fuckin Chavs, blobking up macdonlads, saying annoying things to you when you pass by, drive crappy cars, listen to crappy music, I HATE CHAVS!!!
Everyone who likes Chavs, Start digging some Chav holes - and make them gas proof...
Everyone who likes Chavs, Start digging some Chav holes - and make them gas proof...
by chavsuck May 09, 2006
Will be on benefits, Someone who robs old ladies, Does not know what a word above 4 letters reads, Cannot talk or spell in proper English, Has no GCSE's, Cannot spell their own name, Waste of space, Always wears a tracksuit, Is a dick and
Lives on an estate
Lives on an estate
by ihateallchavs January 25, 2009
Everyone has seen at least one - they have the 'fur' trimmed hoods to their coats and have the appaling makeup (bright blue rings round their eyes and big black mascara clumps). The male one's look just as bad, with the same coats and they gel their hair into spikes and try and look "well 'ard" as I believe the term is.
They drive around with their stereo so loud you can't hear anything else (including jet englines) over the top, and their car seat so far back they can't see over the dash or even the steering wheel. They drive the crapest, cheapest cars going (usually with two strips down the middle and under lights and spoilers and cat - killer exhausts) it is amazing the cars don't break down every ten miles.
They attempt to look intimidating by standing at street corners and practising faces that would make them look so much better if only the wind changed direction... Infact the girls look like prostitutes (many of them are, but you'd have to be really desperate) and the guys look either like complete prats or poofs. If they don't intimidate you when you walk past them they throw bricks through your windows and believe ASBO'S to be cool.
These are people who should be shot, unfortunately they tend to be 'popular' at school I don't know why.
They drive around with their stereo so loud you can't hear anything else (including jet englines) over the top, and their car seat so far back they can't see over the dash or even the steering wheel. They drive the crapest, cheapest cars going (usually with two strips down the middle and under lights and spoilers and cat - killer exhausts) it is amazing the cars don't break down every ten miles.
They attempt to look intimidating by standing at street corners and practising faces that would make them look so much better if only the wind changed direction... Infact the girls look like prostitutes (many of them are, but you'd have to be really desperate) and the guys look either like complete prats or poofs. If they don't intimidate you when you walk past them they throw bricks through your windows and believe ASBO'S to be cool.
These are people who should be shot, unfortunately they tend to be 'popular' at school I don't know why.
Wayne Rooney and his missus are chavs. So are most popstars...
by anti - chav December 07, 2006