Theory of Elasticity of Causality in FTL Scenarios

A speculative framework proposing that causality has elastic properties that allow it to stretch, compress, or deform under FTL conditions without breaking. The Theory of Elasticity of Causality in FTL Scenarios suggests that cause-effect relationships can stretch across spacetime in ways that look like paradox but are actually elastic deformations—like a rubber band stretched but not snapped. When the FTL journey ends, causality snaps back to its proper order. The theory identifies causality's elastic limits: how far can you stretch it before it breaks? FTL might be possible within those limits, but exceed them and causality snaps—with unknown consequences.

Theory of Elasticity of Causality in FTL Scenarios "The ship returned before it left—or so it seemed. Elasticity of Causality says: causality stretched, like a rubber band, during the FTL flight. When the journey ended, it snapped back. No paradox, just elasticity. The question is how far you can stretch it before it breaks—and no one wants to find out."

by Abzugal March 5, 2026

Stack's Law of Universal Causality

A law which states that: given sufficient time, some internet user, somewhere, will have posted elaborate arguments for one person, thing, idea or phenomenon being the cause of all of the world's modern day problems. The argument is likely far-fetched.

Joe: Man, the Middle East is getting crazier every day.
Matt: I read a great article the other day about how Middle Eastern instability is primarily caused by Western expectations of gender-role conformity. That also causes income inequality, Donald Trump, and government corruption.
Joe: The only thing you just proved is that Stack's Law of Universal Causality is true.

Jessica: OMG! Why are there so many starving children in Africa.
LeJuana: You see, when you get down to it, Islamic extremism is the primary cause of global hunger, and our poor stock-markets!
Jessica: How do you know that?
LeJuana: I read a tell all article on it at WorldWithoutReligion.com!
Jessica: That's just Stack's Law of Universal Causality at work.

by GreatHillOfTara August 1, 2016

i am at my maximum pee storage capacity

another way of saying "i need to go pee really bad"

person:i shall unleash a continous stream of pee for i am at my maximum pee storage capacity
person2:ou could instead say "i am gonna go to the toilet" its much shorter

by cosmnik July 1, 2021