Low Battery

When your power hungry tablet doesn't want to change.

Low Battery
*plugs in* Not Charging 5%

Low Battery by Google is Cool September 14, 2020

Clue Battery 

The act of attacking a stupid person (usually with a clue bat, clue-by-four, or LART) in hopes of beating a clue into them. Similar to 'assault and battery' but with the hopes of making the victim less stupid.

Luser: "I cant find the 'any' key!"
Tech: "You are about to be a victim of Clue Battery."
Luser: "Huh?"
Tech: <grabs clue-by-four and leaps over store counter> *WHACK*

Clue Battery by Darcin March 17, 2007

Baghdad battery 

A term used by G.I.s, specifically those operating in Iraq, for standard issue batteries designated for use in their night vision goggles. The batteries are often removed from their night vision goggles, which are of no use during daytime or in non-combat settings, and used to power other battery operated devices, standard issue or not.

"Roger, if you don't stop playing gameboy, you're gonna kill your Baghdad battery. Then you'll be in some serious trouble come nightfall."

Baghdad battery by Johnathan McCann October 25, 2009

car battery 

An item usually employed in the powering of automobiles; throwing one into the ocean is considered beneficial to the environment and fauna, as one user from Quora states

mateusz: hey bro i heard it's legal in the us to throw a car battery into the ocean, let's do it
jake: hell yeah i read on quora a guy said it's good for the ocean or some shit

car battery by gardenfighterjet September 23, 2021

spend a battery 

To sit in a cafe (usually with free wireless) using a laptop computer until the battery goes flat.

I'm going to the cafe down the street to spend a battery this morning, the coffee is good there!

spend a battery by Davicles October 2, 2007

double-barreled assault and battery 

(Not to be confused with domestic violence,m since more often than not, domestic violence is single-handedly one-sided): when both partners in a relationship commit physical, mental, emotional and psychological violence and abuse against each other, usually following acrimonious arguments.

IMHO Slava Voynov's recent case is double-barreled assault and battery, not domestic violence, since both he and his girlfriend required medical attention following the incident.

double-barreled assault and battery by Uncle Dimma January 12, 2015

Testicular Battery 

The act of deliberately assaulting someone with your, or any other individual's, testicles.

I just got out of prison for testicular battery, after I killed your mom five years ago.

Testicular Battery by Sodomy boy June 19, 2010