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Internet politician

The name given to someone who believes everything they read on the internet or social media and forms an opinion regardless of facts or knowledge.
Frank: liberals are trying to take my guns away.
Gio: Says who?
Frank: I read it on Facebook.
Gio: dude, you're just an internet politician.
by Huge hammer69 May 8, 2019
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COD politician

Someone who claims to understand politics (specifically war) just because they played Call of Duty: Modern Warfare’s campaign without skipping the cutscenes.

Classified as a mental disorder. Symptoms include quoting death screen quotes from MW2 campaign, speaking in a deep British accent, and thinking that Urzikstan is a country.
Andre: Dude, have you heard that Mark’s taking IB global politics?
Corey: That’s wild, all he does is play Modern Warfare.
Andre: He thinks he’s some authority on global conflicts now apparently.
Corey: What a COD politician
by Schizo Eagleson June 10, 2024
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Politicians part 2: Breaking Down

And people who are basically pseudo-politicians.

Hym “Any-who, where was I? Oh right, politicians are basically retards and we live in dystopia. Yeah, so... you got more people to work hard... how many of those people are ‘living lives of quiet desperation’ and how far past the first bottleneck did they make it? The next hierarchical bottleneck? One of them made a widget or a do-dad that ensures a retirement at a time of their choosing... their fuck trophies take the extra special fuck trophy path in life and don’t have to do the thing they expect me to do... and we haven’t found a better way, right? Let me ask you something.... If I found a better way, would you allow me to implement it? I mean, you won’t even let me take credit for the contents of my own mind. So no. I would have to kill you all. Just like my current situation.... you would need me to kill you all... and then you could say ‘See!? See!? Look how many people that system kills!!! Our thing was so much better because instead of violence we use subterfuge and emotional abuse (literal emotional abuse, ha!)!’ I don’t see how that doesn’t just make as the slave with one hundred masters... which is why YouTubers all sell ‘hard work.’ Work hard.... so you can afford to add a new master. You get to choose!
Politicians part 2: Breaking Down

It’s not real-slavery is you get to choice your master... and you have several... how many can you afford? Work harder so you can add a few more. Don’t share your Netflix password. That’s allowing people to avoid the slavery... Don’t watch the piracy of my movie... that I copy-and-pasted from urban dictionary.... buy my book... where I nitpick information from the books that I’ve read and/or sell my molested clients stories! Hey guys! Where was Christian God while that guys butthole was getting fucked? Where was he? Do you know? Do you have a guess? Something to muse on... I mean, if the creature was watching then it’s a pedophile.... You know that right? It’s likely that it exists outside of time and I’ve already killed it. Which is neat. But that means I can’t rewind time and fuck the whore instead of the retard (news guy... that’s not how time works).... Hmmm.... Hey! Maybe Nietzsche had a near death experience! I WILL probably end up talking to him after I kill the creature... 🤔 That would make sense. This was a long one. I’ll come back to it.”
by Hym Iam November 1, 2022
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Politician's thumb

The way a politician holds their hand in a first with their thumb used as the pointer, because focus groups said that using a finger was too aggressive.

Originally pioneered by Barack Obama, and used by most politicians since then who don't want to be seen as overly aggressive.
Did you see the rendition of Nikki Haley in the SNL episode of the Republican presidential candidates debate? She nailed the politician's thumb.
by Werdenschmidt November 13, 2023
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Politicians

You have staff, right? You have staff... who manage your affairs, your campaign, day-to-day activities, etc... Right? Sooo.... How are you not a retard who won a popularity contest? You sound like a retard. That’s what retards have. That’s what a retards life is like.... a waitress can do your job.... because your job is basically showing up where you’re told to show up... your job requirements are basically.... being able to read and write? And I need to work harder... to generate more money... for you... so you can work less.... I mean... you sit in a chair.... 80% of you are geriatric.... I should work harder though... that’s what should happen... so you can make more money... and you could say “But if you work harder you’ll make more money too” but... only one of us is doing the work... and I can turn on Cspan... and I can read the bills... and then (at that point) I’m basically doing your job... but for free... but I should work harder... so a literal retard can stop working in a last ditch effort to sponge up as much money as possible before they die... and who gets their money when they die (the money they took from everyone)... and who gets the money when they die? Fuck trophies... but it’s ok... generational wealth only lasts 3 generations... because the people at the top change.... because sometimes rich people only have daughters... and all of the names change... And that means I should work harder? Huh..... Ok.....
Hym “Sooo.... Politicians.... you said all of that.... and what I hear is that this is basically group-home world.... I hate to break it to you but Orwell is already here. I mean... I’m being punished for wrong-think... actively. People have deluded themselves into believing it’s necessary to engage in a selective surveillance state campaign... Oh wait.... ✌️✊✌️No one can hear me✌️✊✌️ (except for the people who read it every day and reference it every day and the guy who un-ironically said this to me as though he didn’t read it and isn’t responding to it actively). Oh well 🤷 ♂️ I’ll just keep talking.“
by Hym Iam November 1, 2022
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Politician

There’’s still house full of politicians at parliament. Well serves you right for not calling “Rentokil” to clear out those parasites.
by 1BigEck January 10, 2024
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As useful as the average politician

Used to describe how useless something or someone is
A lot of the regulatory bodies meant to protect consumers are as useful as the average politician.
by Kofi_essil July 21, 2024
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