Pregame jerk

When you know you’re about to smash on some good poon but your also a 2 pump chump, you call for a bathroom break and rub one out to prolong your pipe game

Yo Donte I was bout to tag sum tail but knew I was done for so I called a pregame jerk and was able to hit that shit all night before spreading the sauce.

by Chopperindabag April 29, 2021

Closet Jerk

Someone who acts generous during their hours on a work shift. However, they don’t act very civil during their own time outside of their occupation.

“Wow! I noticed Kyle dosen’t seem nice most of the time. But, when he is a work. He behaves well, & is very friendly. He definitely is a “Closet Jerk”

by Trippyness211 May 8, 2021

Vampire jerk

When the blokes all meet up and give and receive a firm gripped hand job in a circular formation and one of the blokes shoots blood and you proceed to pick up the blood.

Old Tod and Brad were at their local all male brothel and then fucking brad let off a vampire jerk.

by Osama .Bin. Laden. June 22, 2021

Nipple Jerk

When u surgically plant ur penis in some nipples and jizz out of your nipple and feed your “father milk” to the kids.

Hey why is the father milk sour today? Because he nipple jerked on his kids.

by anonymous August 1, 2021

Kirkl Jerk

A specific type of circle jerk, in which the group expresses a mutual love and obsession for Costco/Kirkland Signature brand

I hate to derail this Kirkl Jerk, but I think Sam's Club's prices are better.

by BigFactsMabel October 18, 2021

Weepy Jerk

1. Noun. When, overcome with sadness, depression, or despair, you jerk off to feel even marginally better.
2. Noun. A masturbatory session that happens to coincide with a sad or depressive episode. Tears may be used as lubricant.

3. Verb. Engaging in definitions 1 or 2.
4. Noun. Someone who's usually an asshole, who happens to be crying at the moment.

1. Overcome with sadness, Noah decided to have a weepy jerk, resulting in his problems not seeming quite so bad after all.
2. While on a marathon jerk session, Thomas recalled a sad moment from his formative years, turning his proud gank into a weepy jerk.

3. Heath weepily jerked for hours, hoping for some change in his mood.

4. -Aw, Eli's crying! -Who gives a shit?! Fuck that weepy jerk!

by Kabouter0 October 31, 2021

Join Jerk January

also see No Nut November and Destroy Dick December and No Finger February. when you and the boys have to get together for a circle jerk during january.

Big D: yo you want to come to my place for Join Jerk January?
Lil D: nah man i've got plans with gary.

by BeeNumber69 November 2, 2021