When a 'friend' of yours is a total ho and sleeps with your man behind your back, you find two new men. One to strut as eye candy, and a secret boyfriend. Eye candy decoy boyfriend would ideally enjoy the ho's competition.
Didn't that hurt your feeling that she was flirting with your boyfriend? What, oh, he's the decoy boyfriend.
by P.Venuit May 29, 2016
Get the Decoy Boyfriend mug.He told you he wanted to marry you on the fourth date. He quit college and told you to relax when you said you were concerned about their future. You'll feel guilty thinking about guys who actually take their girlfriends out after he stops wanting to go places. Before you know it some girl says she's dating him. The ex boyfriend isn't serious about marriage and has tons of ex girlfriends that you never knew about. He'll disappear from your life.
by MCBL March 5, 2017
Get the ex boyfriend mug.A drone one has fallen in love with. And since the gender of a drone is unknown, we call them all boy friends. One my even have sexual relations with a drone, just don't expect good results.
My Drone Boyfriend and I had went on a date, later that night he helped me whack the lawn, but things got a little messy.
by Robot lover 69 March 15, 2017
Get the drone boyfriend mug.Ex-boyfriend Disease, otherwise known as Pompous Ass Disease. Warning symptoms include heart palpitations, diarrhea, severe headaches and a compulsive need to flee the country. There are many specimens that have been known to be infectious. If you happen to come in contact with one, back away slowly, avoid eye contact, and disinfect immediately!
Woman: I ran into Roger today..
Woman's friend: That bastard! And you had just stopped having diarrhea.
Woman: I know...I tried to run but he was too fast. Next thing I know, I have the sudden urge to live in Australia and go to the bathroom.
Woman's friend: You poor thing, I know quite a bit how you feel. I contracted Ex-boyfriend disease from Jake a year ago. The diarrhea comes and goes just thinking about it.
Woman's friend: That bastard! And you had just stopped having diarrhea.
Woman: I know...I tried to run but he was too fast. Next thing I know, I have the sudden urge to live in Australia and go to the bathroom.
Woman's friend: You poor thing, I know quite a bit how you feel. I contracted Ex-boyfriend disease from Jake a year ago. The diarrhea comes and goes just thinking about it.
by MonkeyBubbles July 13, 2017
Get the Ex-boyfriend Disease mug."Give's Me Hope"
"My boyfriend just brought me soup and nyquil zzzz because I am so sick! "
"Omg you have a gmh boyfriend!
"Omg you have a gmh boyfriend!
by KikiRulz November 5, 2017
Get the GMH Boyfriend mug.an old boyfriend who you dumped because it was hard to date at the time and then goes and dates your best friend the next week. Then your best friend becomes your ex best friend and your ex boyfriend becomes a fucking douche bad and you try to talk to him but he acts like he's so cool because he thinks you want him back but you don't!
by im_fine123 December 15, 2017
Get the ex boyfriend mug.Refers to where you specifically request da "main squeeze" of a smokin’-hot number whom you're also super-fond of to actively "partake 'n' participate" in da assorted fun/pleasant activities dat you yourself usually engage in wif said blinky-eyed damsel whenever she’s honoring you wif her warm-natured companionship.
Total boyfriend inclusion can have at least three awesome advantages:
(1) It removes any anxiety/jealousy dat da dude might otherwise feel while you're "dabbin' it up" wif his sweetie-pie, since he'll be right there to observe everything dat happens. Plus he will be grateful to you for thoughtfully "including" him in said pleasant activities, so dat he doesn't feel "left out" at all.
(2) It helps da **girl** to feel more comfy wif your affectionate attentions, too, of course, since she no longer will hafta be concerned dat any of da activities dat she shares wif you might be considered "doing something behind her dream-guy's back". And again, there will be da same strong element of appreciation towards you, just as in Example #1 --- da gal will respect you for inviting her honey-bear to "come along for da ride", and so this will earn you lots of extra "brownie-points" wif HER, too.
(3) It will allow da dude to actually observe and experience all of da nice stuff dat you and Miss Cutie-Pie love to share, so dat he can clearly see first-hand what things she most enjoys, and how she likes dem performed. This can be especially helpful and welcome for a dude who is a bit clumsy and/or unaware, and thus he has not always been able to give Miss Smileysweet da more “delicate” nuances dat she craves when he’s “puttin’ da lovies” to her, such as rubbing her neck/back/limbs/feet in a truly soothing/sensuous manner, making discreet/diplomatic word-choices in “awkward” situations, etc.
(1) It removes any anxiety/jealousy dat da dude might otherwise feel while you're "dabbin' it up" wif his sweetie-pie, since he'll be right there to observe everything dat happens. Plus he will be grateful to you for thoughtfully "including" him in said pleasant activities, so dat he doesn't feel "left out" at all.
(2) It helps da **girl** to feel more comfy wif your affectionate attentions, too, of course, since she no longer will hafta be concerned dat any of da activities dat she shares wif you might be considered "doing something behind her dream-guy's back". And again, there will be da same strong element of appreciation towards you, just as in Example #1 --- da gal will respect you for inviting her honey-bear to "come along for da ride", and so this will earn you lots of extra "brownie-points" wif HER, too.
(3) It will allow da dude to actually observe and experience all of da nice stuff dat you and Miss Cutie-Pie love to share, so dat he can clearly see first-hand what things she most enjoys, and how she likes dem performed. This can be especially helpful and welcome for a dude who is a bit clumsy and/or unaware, and thus he has not always been able to give Miss Smileysweet da more “delicate” nuances dat she craves when he’s “puttin’ da lovies” to her, such as rubbing her neck/back/limbs/feet in a truly soothing/sensuous manner, making discreet/diplomatic word-choices in “awkward” situations, etc.
by QuacksO November 16, 2018
Get the total boyfriend inclusion mug.